its hard to hold on, but harder to let go

i dont want to be the best boyfriend youve ever had,
i just wanna be the best boyfriend i can be.

yeah i just randomly think of these things
for no reason at all.

coincidence that i blog RIGHT after chris blogs?
yes it is coincidence and that is all it is.

i dont even like the word boyfriend.
like wtf yeah hes a boy and yeah hes your friend
but wait NO he isnt just your friend
hes much more
so why call him your friend ?

COZ YOURE A FUCKING RETARD.

its not really a secret that i have
its an expression, but im not stupid.
im not giving this up. not yet

fuck, how the fuck am i supposed to compete with this kunt.
so id rather not. id rather drive myself insane

yeah i know the year has "just" started
but i feel ive learnt alot already
is this maturity? is this growing up?
i like but dont like
i feel better, maybe its my haircut.
i always feel cockier after a haircut :)

we're wasting away.
stressing over nothing
year 12 is over . . . reacted ?
its not THAT bad. but yeah
just in case, stress now so we dont have to later ay

im scared.
i miss you and i dont even know who you are.
people are getting on my nerves
the people i least suspected.
this is our year, lets not waste it.
goodnight