four fucks ache

i dunno how long i can keep this up
fucking hell, i must have the worst luck with women
lol or maybe its just me
but i wont change.
not willingly anyways
not "oh fuck i needa be a better person"
"oh now im a good person, ive changed, im differnt"
Shut the fuck up. your only fooling yourself.
fuck that shit

what will i do?
option A: bottle it up until i explode
option B: drink until im happy (temporarily)
option C: puch some walls, break my fingers
option D: be depressed, take it out on my friends
option E: be emo and beg for attention
option F: brush it off liek its nothing, get over it
option G: change who i am as a person(pffftt)
option H: scream/cry/cut myself/whatever
option I: stfu and stop bitching
option J: be everything im not

see im a little bit lost without you
and im bloody big mess inside

fuck, not like theres anything i can do anyways
im not gonna get all sad and depressed
over something i could have but didnt do.

i needa get my shit together.
but i know i wont hahaha
i guess i'll just hope for the best and expect the worse
again

and again

and again.

goodnight

ps.how can i be sure about you when i can never be sure of myself?

pss. thats not even a ps.