its my fault.

im angry, yes what else is new.
im angry at you, im angry at him, im angry at me.
i can always find an excuse to hate somebody, to get angry, to blame someone else.
im full of excuses, and excuses are full of shit.
i dont know how to deal with my self sometimes.
i hate me, but im proud of who i am. well, most of me.
how can you be so shallow,
how can i be so shallow.
how can you be so stupid,
how can i be so judgemental.
why would you do such a thing,
why cant i just get over it.
the worst part of seeing a situation from someone elses view is that you might lose sight of your own point of argument. and you are left with a contradicting opinion that isnt as solid as you thought it was. and the worst part is realizing that the only person in the wrong, is yourself.
how selfish of me, shame on me.
theres nothing you can do, theres nothing i can do.
just get over it, but everyone is. why are you still lingering in the past? only because i can. maybe i want to start shit. maybe its all i have.
sometimes i get so angry, just a thought makes my mind ache, and head quivers.
its normal, right?
i feel like locking myself up in a cage. the total opposite of running away.
Taylor swift soothes my mood. sighhhhhhh

some things i never forget, most of the time its irrelevant.
im very forgetful when it counts though :s

when someone asks me how im doing, i honestly dont know how to answer it anymore.
i either dont remember or theres just too much to say for one question.
instead of explaining my life story, i like to go with the word "good" otherwise id be standing there trying to figure out if ive had more good time than bad or vice versa.

i still cant believe you said that to me.

how long does it take to find out who your true friends are.
im a very fortunate person, im surrounded by awsome people; nice, friendly, caring, giving, selfless, fun loving people. i love my friends.
but sometimes i feel like i never have time for anyone or anything.
i feel like im repeating myself?

2010, the best and worst year of my life. one to remember. definitely.
but one that could easily have been the best year of my life. period.
but i was preoccupied with fighting myself, and trying to be some idiot.
im probably still that idiot, but im working on it.

maybe i should give back to my friends by giving more that i take.
you people inspire me to be better, ive been walking around with my chest out and my head held high for so long i didnt see how much of a fool ive been making of myself.
i really do take my life, friends and family for granted. but i do appreciate what everyone does for me, maybe not as much as i should but i do.

i want to say never look back, but its always good to remember where you came from, but you must also remember to keep moving forward.

or just forget the world and sleep, forever.

i have nothing to complain about. but i do.

goodbye lovers and friends.
if you see me slipping, dont let me go.

release me

the worst place to be right now,
planet earth.
i wanna jump on a spaceship, get high get high.
one way ticket to anywhere but here.

i feel like everything is happening too fast
too much is happening at the same time.
i thought that finishing year 12 would have meant fun, happiness, joy, emancipation !!
it was supposed to mean everyone feeling the relief of finishing school and being stress free.
but no it just meant we didnt have to put up with each others shit or force ourselves into conversation. maybe thats all it was. a masquerade.

i dont want to seem like im making a big deal of nothing or that im insensitive but i really dont even know anymore. i used to think to myself, 'theres always someone whos got it worse than you' but i dont even know how good or bad i got it anymore. im such a fucking confusing kunt.

My fave definitions of friend, courtesy of URBAN DICTIONARY

1. Friend
A real friend is someone who:

a)it's okay to fart in front of.

b)you don't mind talking to on the bus for at least 20 minutes.

c)can borrow $5 and never has to pay it back

d)you'll actually call up do stuff.
Bob: "Hey Jim, you wanna go see a show downtown"
Jim: "Sorry man, I'm broke, and how are we gonna get there."
Bob: "No problem, I'll lend you the 5 bucks and we'll take the bus."
Jim: "Yeah, okay" (loud farting sound)
Bob: "Whoah! That was a good one!

Bob and Jim are friends.

2. Friend
A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.

A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn't mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.

A friend is someone who not only doesn't care if you're ugly or boring, but doesn't even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don't know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you're being stupid, but who doesn't make you feel stupid.

A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don't even think about who's talking or who's listening in a conversation with a friend.

A friend is someone for whom you're willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn't matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.

A friend is a partner, not a leader or a follower.

yeah i like this shit.

to the girlfriend,
. . . . . . . yeah.

late for work.
goodbye for now, goodnight for later, fuck you.