release me

the worst place to be right now,
planet earth.
i wanna jump on a spaceship, get high get high.
one way ticket to anywhere but here.

i feel like everything is happening too fast
too much is happening at the same time.
i thought that finishing year 12 would have meant fun, happiness, joy, emancipation !!
it was supposed to mean everyone feeling the relief of finishing school and being stress free.
but no it just meant we didnt have to put up with each others shit or force ourselves into conversation. maybe thats all it was. a masquerade.

i dont want to seem like im making a big deal of nothing or that im insensitive but i really dont even know anymore. i used to think to myself, 'theres always someone whos got it worse than you' but i dont even know how good or bad i got it anymore. im such a fucking confusing kunt.

My fave definitions of friend, courtesy of URBAN DICTIONARY

1. Friend
A real friend is someone who:

a)it's okay to fart in front of.

b)you don't mind talking to on the bus for at least 20 minutes.

c)can borrow $5 and never has to pay it back

d)you'll actually call up do stuff.
Bob: "Hey Jim, you wanna go see a show downtown"
Jim: "Sorry man, I'm broke, and how are we gonna get there."
Bob: "No problem, I'll lend you the 5 bucks and we'll take the bus."
Jim: "Yeah, okay" (loud farting sound)
Bob: "Whoah! That was a good one!

Bob and Jim are friends.

2. Friend
A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.

A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn't mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.

A friend is someone who not only doesn't care if you're ugly or boring, but doesn't even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don't know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you're being stupid, but who doesn't make you feel stupid.

A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don't even think about who's talking or who's listening in a conversation with a friend.

A friend is someone for whom you're willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn't matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.

A friend is a partner, not a leader or a follower.

yeah i like this shit.

to the girlfriend,
. . . . . . . yeah.

late for work.
goodbye for now, goodnight for later, fuck you.