caged in.

it's my fault, but im angry at you.
i cut you open, but i bleed.
i hate you, come closer.
fuck make up your mind.
eenie meenie shut the fuck up.

fuck man, im not ready for this shit.
i hate my phone plan, i hate credit cards and i hate promises.
metaphorically, shut your mouth.
something so fucking small, can be such a big deal.
i'm so far from myself right now.

end blog. goodnight.

seclusion puts me back together again

fuck, same question different post

what the fuck is my problem
what the fuck is wrong with me
im dysfunctional?
the suns out the grass is green and the water is warm
yet theres this one dark cloud that keeps popping up
following me around like a shadow.
just a thought that lingers at the back of my mind
eating away at me when im least suspecting it.
quite the burden actually

like, its nothing to worry about yet im scared
like WHAT THE FUCK MAN.
sometimes i just dont know why i fuck with my own mind
im pointing a drill to my head when i KNOW i can put it down
but i refuse
WHY FUCKEN WHY.
cause im a fucking retard.
fuck why am i so insecure
so paranoid so helpless
i dont even have control of how i think anymore
my mind wanders and i lose it completely.

i feel like im going to do something that im going to regret
something selfish something hurtful something unforgivable
but i guess we'll never know till its too late

i want to learn to let go
i want to learn to set my priorities straight
i want to find myself and be myself
i want to find my wings and get the fuck out of here.

somethings not right and i cant finish this blog,
or maybe im distracted or maybe i was never good at happy endings
or maybe i can never finish what i start or maybe this maybe that

GROW A FUCKING PAIR OF BALLS AND MAN THE FUCK UP.

ps. im a fucking freak that thinks in circles

i'll break your wings so you can never fly away.

fuck, im furious
im burning green
fuck i am reterded. wtf is my problem man.
ahh fuck.

how awesome is my fkn title.
i really like my titles.
abit of genius.

maybe im over my head ?
maybe im just stupid?
maybe im over thinking or not thinking at all.

fuck sake.
what the fuck is wrong with you/me.
im fucked in the everywhere.
i wonder how much shit i can give to my friends til they all hate me ?
hmmmm. interesting concept.

my world is spinning without me :s
thats not right.
shit load to do but i dont know what it is.
cbf blogging fuck yall nigguhs.

may all your wildest dreams come truee.

beautiful

i hate pretending everything is okay
what else can i do
what am i doing?
fuck, there i go digging my own grave again.
where my guardian angel when i need them
i hope i have one
but we all know that if i did then they would have givin up on me ages ago
im so fucking confused right now
i dont know what teh fuck is going on
i just wanan put the world on hold for a bit
i need to figure myself out
figure you out
im so fucked
i want to say fuck my life
but im sure there are people out there who have it a lot worse than me
i need a sign, but what if this is my sign?
i need options, mayeb i need help
mayeb i just needa know what i want.

fuck it just keeps going downhill.
everything was so good for a split second.
and i lost everything at once.
fucking hell i dont know what to do.
i know what i should do but i dont know if i can.
fuck. call me an alcoholic cos im thirsty.
no fuck you. fucked me over.
fucked myself over fuck.
im not depressed im angry.

yeha this blog took a while to finish
posted on teh 13th btw
fuck.

where'd you go ?

anger lives in my shadow so whatever you do,
dont turn off the lights.
why hello there anger, i havent felt you for so long i almost missed you.
im so fucking confused.
god why do you do this to me. why
best/worst year of my life.
how do i do this, move around it?
get over it? or take it head on. fuck my fucked life :)

pay for RSA
pay for D&T
get lyxen a present
get lyxen a song
Do multimedia
fuck our lives

for you i will, trust me.

im a dick i know <3

sorry thank you and goodnight

Pull the trigger

happy birthday big ngan.

too much was going on

too much is going on

ive made a terrible mistake

and ive hit a dead end

im sick , im failing, im lazy and hopeless

i push away those that love me and hold on to those that let me down.
im not depressed. im just lost, unorganised and a little bit confused.

just cause you love yourself it doesnt mean youre up yourself

just cause you hate your self it doesnt mean youre depressed.

its either self esteem or self realization that youve done something wrong.

i just need a little time alone to figure myself out,

but even a thousand years wont be enough for me to know what i want

i think ive already used that line, but im feeling it again.

yeha i must admit, i do miss how some things used to be

but im also glad some things have changed too.

if you asked me if i was happy with my life id say yes. duh

only cos im nice and i cbf with the pointles dnm that wont do anything for you or me

all it will do is leave me looking vulnerable and make you think theres something you can do to make things better

i was thinking right am i a nice guy, like genuinely ?

i dont need your opinion. i was just curious.

i liek to think i am but when i die and am judged by god, what would he say.

i dont know but i dont think i want to :s

sorry to say, but i still dont know who my real friends are.

but i hope i'll always be friends with them especially after year 12.

i have no heart

if i die, i hope im born again
so i'd have another chance to be with you

i am crazy

i dont know how i thought of that :\
unlesss i heard it somewhere else and i just remembered now :s