living with what if

like what if i dont want to be your shoulder to lean on ??
what if i just want ur shoulder to lean on ??
what if i was an attention seeker
what if i begged you
what if we never met ?? difference ??
what if my name was dominic
what if i fucked you over
what if u never fucked me over
what if i dont care ??

fuck knowing that it makes me a lil bit angry bothers me but then knowing that it bothers me that it makes me a lil angry GETS ME FURIOUS
soo today i ahve not showered yet i woke up at 2 kinda well i stayed in bed listening to my ipod and singing as loud as i can til like 3
and its now 8
and i cbf sgower and im fuking starving and my mums not home
and my dad'
doesnt exactly make super good food
althoguh his scrambled egg i slike woah
bu tyeah
chris ur a tight ass
incase u forgot
but anyways
yeah im pretty pissed atm
not at you chris frigggen
well umm sighhh
wow is it good to see her face well both their faces and the otehr one too bu ti dnt htink she remembers my naem so fuk her
im so curious though hmmm
omg i just realised something
i kind of liek complain that im single
yet i never really do anything about it
wth is my problem
wtf omfg im gunna try my hardest to no tcomplain anymore
im so dumb omgg
bu yeah anyways
i wonder what i would do if i found out i had cancer ??
hmmmm
i was thinking tho
if that is what i need ot live thsi life tehn fuck i am dumb
coz right now i wouldnt call it living
im just staying alive
and its wasting oxygen
but i dnt wanan go to hell so im stay alive a long as possible
fuk i shoydkl hw
i needa do 5b now
so that chris is liek wtf u said u werent gunan do it
an dill b elike I LIED AAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
but yeah
i mentioned chris twice no now its three times in this blog so ima even it out an mention otehr ppls names
like
lets say
oh hey alice is bacjk
she be back at school on tues
woo . . . . .
i dunno anymore
but yeha
and liek sophie even though we havent spoken for a while
but yeha thnx fo them drama s even though i havent watched much of it and i broke the covers
but yeha im sorry about that
oh and um m m mm m
hi ngan
hey lucy friggen even though u neevrvevrevrevrvevr blog u crazy friggen bu tyeah anyways
omg THUYYYYYYYY
sighhhhhhhhh
well i better do my multi media and MAHTHS AHAHAHAHAHAHH
gnigth bye fuckers
i love . . . . sighhh

well jealousy fucked me over [ from xangargh ]

copied n pasted from xangay
KFO
gosh well im bored outta my brains
obvious - runner runner
well im quite happy adn proud of myself
found out this guy is alot easier to find then i thought
wait holy shit
that means hed be popular
and popularity can turn into connections
well im screwed
BUT I DONT CARE
lets get mean
continued on 22nd of this month
ANYWAYS
NO!! REFUSE TO BE PISSED
and i refuse to get even
even thoguh he doesnt actually know what he did . . .
BUT THATS NOT THE POINT
fuck wait i dunno
i was told i ahve rights
but . . .
no its not worth it
goh fuck now im not even amking any sense why teh fuck would u blog an arguement with urself ??
ha ??
fkn dumb cunt lets get downb to business
yeah ur right sorry
fuken dmbKNT
well umm ive been alright
school is draining boringly gayy
not hard everythnig is going at an okay pace
some ppl are pissing me off but ive gotten used to it
and ull never guess who
but nayways
omfg wtf is up with this ??
fuk i wish i was as perfect as thingy
no to you who i will not mention but u know who u are
not ur thingy
my thingy
fkn
im so green right noww
grrrrrrr
fuk this blog was supposed to be rea gy good one but fuck it im not a very good blogger im just a fuking blabber bitches
eat my ass ill lov eyou forever
mwahhhhh
OHH AYY BAY BAYYY
fuck i hate you but i love you
a differemt you
ill be here when it all comes crashing down
alll you need to do is take one step forward

mayday

firsty
soem sxc ass songs that keep me going
Morning of - reverie
It's Alive - Pieces
Conditions - Man to Mannequin
There For Tomorrow - remember when
Every Avenue - Think of you LATER [ from ngan ]
This Providence - Letdown
Daniel Badingfield - Gotta get thru this [ acoustic ]
James morrison ft Nelly furtado - Broken strings [ from chrissy G ]
DAy 26 - Dizzy
mmmm thats enough for NOW
siiiigggghhhh omg
I woke up today SHATTERED
i wish i never woke up
No im not wishing i died i just wanted to sleep for a bit longer
But DAYUM that made my day
sun was shining
people smiling
friends are happy
GOOD DAY
i had dream i was watching Gossip girl ??
that wasnt the whole dream but yeah
it was teh scene where chuck tells blaire why they cannot be together
but that he loves her kinda thing
good scene that one

REMEMBER WHEN !!
we didnt have to remember when TIMES WERE BETTER
the sex

time for teh occasional emo corner:
eyes are shut
face is numb
lips are quivering
chest feels tight
hmmmm i wonder

ANYWAYSS

what am i to do ??
something ??
nothing ??
FUCK YOU DAN
confusing me
walking through a labyrinth in teh dark
my attempts to sund poetic fails miserably
OKAY NGAN LETS SEE U DO BETTER !!
ima put this on xangay btw
i should put that on teh top
brb im do that now
no wait a minute i should write on my xanga i got it from my blogspot oops
ANYWAYS

fucking hell
my playlist is so depressing
LIKE FUCK YOU !!!
i need to kill something
liek whats his name from montana 1948

my room is a mess
so am i
i cbf fucked cleaning or fixing anything up
fuck its all downhill from here baby
sighhh
FUCKSDGJKZSZSGLfuiSZGBIUSDsOMHMFGMFMGFMGFMGMFMGOFGFMOGFMGMFOGFUCLU YOYOUYOUYOUOYUO

everytime i look into your eyes
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck i am angry at you mum WHYY DID YOU DO THAT !!

I DONT CARE HOW LIKELY IT IS THAT I WILL GET BASHED COZ I WONT !
gosh dmanit
i need to fucking grow up bu tmy parents wont let me
fucking hell
i got an anchor around my neck
and its very hard to shake off

GOHHHH
fuck ruin mee
thats enough bitching i shall leave it at that
GOOD FUCKING IGHT FUCKERSS
SEE YOU IN OBLIVION FUCKERS
yeah it doesnt make sense go fuck yourself
and dont give me that why so angry p ALRIGHT CHRIS
im good im happy
im FKNG FINEEE
i just liek to swear coz it makes me look liek a disrespectfull sick KUNT
gosh fkn damnit
wtf is my bloody fkn problem ??

your just a letdown , another one of my mistakes
i never loved you anyways i never did and i never WILLLL

mmmmmm teh sound of sex squeezed between alcohol and drugs
gooohhhhh

i was supposed to be gone by now but anyways
im fuknig bored asssss

goodnight goodmornnig good afternoon

sighhh

GRAGHHHH

FUCK
i used to be liek dayum
but now im liek
and your liek hey
but not to me
so im just FUCK
i need a target
AHAHAHA
fuck u are FUCKED MATE
no
i dnt want to do that'
fuck im not that kind of perso
NO FGFIDSAsdfsd
gsdgasdHGSZD
hgsdf
fsd
hsdghzsdfhnzgj
fuck it goodngith u boroe me

wake up dead ?? i WISH

have u ever woken upo and thoguth dayum
not a fkn gain
grab a towel walk int ot eh shower
and just stand there
walk out an dur hair is still dry
and then its liek dayum not again

have you ever stayed up all night with that one thing on your mind
yo shake it off tehn a minute later it comes back to haunt you ??

have you ever watched over a crowd and seen teh same familiar face on 20 different people

have you ever fell to the floor staring at your knees
me either
have you ever had everything just to lose it all

habve u ever FUKIGNGNG THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT IT ISNT ??
RATHER THEN JUST WHAT IT COULD BE ??
HAVE YOU EVER THOGHUT ABOTU NOT ASSUMING THE WORSe
fuk have you ever - brandy ??

gee i dunno what to do anymoire
i go tno goals
no purpose
no talent no skills
im so fuking average
no originality
im a fkn one of teh rest
part of the others
ima fkn waste
letdown - this providence

fuk bad habits
dig my ow g rave
teh otehr day a long time a go
i saw thei shirt that sadi love breaks ur heart im like dayum
wat a fkn sxc ass shirt
then i bashed him and stole [ i lied i wish i did tho ]
fkn asian KNT
FUCK ALL TEH GOOD GIRLS ARE TAKEN
this sucks
anyways gngith byeybee
more later
EAT MY SHIT FUKARGHSSS

fuck

so sick of me
fuck i need insanity
i crave it
without it
ill have to face this awful life bestowed upon me
this curse this grudge this memory
i need to put this on xanga
ima copy n paste it soon
FOR FUCKS SAKES
WHY THE FUCK DO I BLOG THERES ONLY ONE PERSON WHO READS IT FUCK THATS IT IM CONTINUEING THIS BLOG ON XANGA GOOBYE

Screaming No begging yes

I just wanan say

Yoooooooooooooooo

I don't know your name but excuse me miss, I saw you from across the room

And I got to admit that you got my attention

You're making me want to say yooooooo

then im all ill be all like

BEEP BEEP oh oop now there goes my phone and once again im just hoping its a text from yoouuuuu mmmm

it aint right read your msgs twice thrice four times a night girl its trueeee

sighhhhhhssssssss

NOOOO SAY NOO

omfg you got me going in circles dont where to go or where i came from

i dont even know who i am anymore

omfg i go tso much fkn hw and iom fkn blogging

i must be am refardedted

chris, cheer the fuck up

hmm sounds kind of offensive in a way

but yeah DAMN

maths sac

business map

chem questions

multi media website

FUCKING HELL

i think i might go to sleep im too tired to concentrate

but yeah

fuknig sigh . . . .

i sure hate that pavis asshole

he needs to get a life and some friends

fkn loser TB dumb shit

SHUT THE FUCK UP

fuk vce is too depressing

and uni and tafe dnt look very promising eitehr

farrrrrrrr out