i can't love

i dont know what to type
maybe ive been so busy i dont have time to feel sorry for myself
the only adventures i have are in my dreams
kool though, but still :\

whats with girls and their shit taste in guys like fuck
are blind and stupid and fucked in the anus ?
bt then again nice girls are called sluts
and us guys are like :s
bt yeah

so sick of my job
goodnight lovers and friends

teach me how to cry

yeah this is an oldish post i forgot to post so yeah posting it now

im not gonna hate you
im not gunna fuck you over
im not gunna lose myself
unless i already havent didnt
fuck you go correct your face
fuck what am i doing
shame on my fucking face ayy
change is only good if we change together
but i cant figure out which one of us is still the same
i dont think i want to know
but . . . . . yeah
fuck i need someone to blame
or else ima end up hating myself
and its pretty shit
ive had enough of this hating
but its all ur fault
but

*end old post*

yeha im not very a good brother
i want to be there for my family more than anyone else
but i dont knowwwww
its like
my patience is shortest with them
and im so caught up in growing up on my own
and finding myself i . . . forget where i came from

i dunno, i want to be someone my family will be proud to say
they are related to , someone they can boast about to their friends
i mean i WANT change , but am i willing to put in teh effort ?
NOOOOOOOO SIFFF
its like feeling sorry for a hobo
but can i really be bothered reahing in to my pocket and giving money ?
do i really want to give money that i worked hard for
can i spare some change? yes
WILL i spare some change? nooo
WATTA SELFISH BASTARD

yeha i think ive used that metaphor before also

well ive outblogged myself
goodnigth and im sorry
i dont know what i can do to make it up to everyone
i dont even know if i want to make it up to you
but yeah im an asshole
know it, embrace it, feel it

theres something about the way you smile

that just makes my day

i dunno but i never really realised the importance of a smile
and how great it really looks on someone
i think we should bring back the smile instead of trying to look kool by putting on a mean face
and pouts dont count as smilnig so yeah

hmmmm after i kinda ditched alice i was thinkngi of a day that i can make it up to her and
then i realised i was quite busy
sat portayy
sun temple
mon work
tues book work I GOTTA FINISH IT
weds im actually free buts shes not
thurs work :\
fri busy
sat i thnik im free
sun cuz's bday

I SHOULD AHVE BEEN CAREFUL OF WHAT I WISHED FOR WHEN I WAS BOREDDDD
sorry caps bu ti cbf backspacing

how has my week been ?
yesterday was friday
went city n stuff and kill a whole lotta time with chris mostly then stevoh n mario n eriK
sorry alice
thurs was the meeting and i saw thanh and jenny before work
which was nicee
weds i thnik i stayed home ??
yeah i think so
and probably tues as well
and mon i had work maybe ?
yeah i dunno

how have i been ?
ive been very confused
but im always lost and unsure of myself
which is a tremendous flaw
but what can i do ?

yeha i feel funked
ima go now
yeha goodngith byebyeyyb

its not the same without you

yeah he gets it from me
:D
californication is quite good
even without all the unnecessary sex scenes
makes me happy

omgeee yesterday i went to my cuz's house coz my aunt and HIM are going to Thailand for a while but the rest of teh family are staying back
yeah im like im gunna miss you yadadada
and im like if you miss me call me yeah
call 000 lol
and then i heard that he dialled it today
MAKES ME FUCKING HAPPY

fuck sakes i dunno im so fkn
i dont know i just want to falll as hard as i can
i want to catch my breathe
i want answers

fuck it doesn't even matter anymore,
well not to anyone else but me
which pretty much means it doesn't matter anymore
freak i think i need new speakers
i think my bass is screwed
im pretty sure it is
ALRIGHT IM NTO SURE

would you wana know the truth even if it hurt you ?
i cant really answer that one
it kidna scares me
but i hate lies
but i hate white lies more
its liek they pity you so they try make you feel better
WELL GUESSS WHAT . fuck youuuu

thsi is pointleesss
blog next tiem goodnight for now

i want this more than anything

yeah dont mess with us, we are crazy posers
gawsh i miss my moho, but im not doing it
maybe the moho with the fringe
fkn summer and long oily hair
and goodness i hate my long hair especially at the back but im so cbffffff

i dunno
alot of backwards thinking
and it just makes me
feel . . . . stupid
liek why the fuck did i do that
and why didnt you do that
and like why the fuck would you do the opposite
maybe its a reflex that i liek to put myself in shit situations
mayeb i like the challenge
even if i cant handle them

so lets stay up tonight
girl thats all
let me sing you this song

fuck i hate it when i cant sleep
thats when the thoughts really build up
and fuck me over
but if i didnt have these thoughts then
a whole lot of shit woudl still not make sense to me
which is kinda better
what you dont know cant hurt you
right, right

so sick of working already
and fucking rosters are the shittest everrrrr
and fucking book
i got liek 3 weeks to finish

i kinda feel bad
my mum just came in asking what i want tmro and stuff
and then after a while she jumped out saying
i better leave before you get annoyed
although i probably would have gotten annoyed
. . . . . actually i dunno what to say to make me feel better :\

life is not too shabby atm
its just . . . . stufff that doesnt matter
goodnight
fuck yall