crashing and burning

im soo fucking sick and tired of always having to blame myself
its fucking wasting my time, wasting my life and killing some pretty fucking good opportunities
ewww
i just sneezed
not one of those cute ones tho
COZ IM A FUCKING MONSTER BEAST
fuck anybody ever notice how fat sean kingston is ?
i like the song 1,2,3,4 by plain white ass T's
but back to my angry depression
farr
all the times ive fucked up
ima fucking gutless wonder
as senseless as a deaf and blind stooge
but whatever
ive been doing this for too long
ima fuck it
leave it behind . . .
wait aminute
that sounds quite familiar
i think ive said that before
but anyways
"put the dark side behind you,
that way the shadows will fall behind you"
- a book
sigh
one day ill fully forgive my self
for now this will do
fuck im a a hypocrite
but i make the mistakes so that you can learn from them
. . . . man i think im scared
fuck i think i needa buy a safe to keep my shit in
OMFG TRUST ISSUES
fucking contagious
well im pretty angry and fucked over
FUCK THERE I GO AGAIN
goodnight before i rage

another night, another dream wasted on you

i liek centreing my words

it looks ooher

fucking chris wotn tell wth went wrong

gosh damnit

WHATEVER

although im gettting a il paranoid of otehr situations

like hmmmm

and omfg

went work today bloody smashed and wrecked

i was having headspins n shit

while making burger im like wtff

i think my manager thinks im retarded

gosh

but omgee baddest idea ever

it wa sliek my body was movign before i could think and liek

everything was moving so fast

but then i felt liek i was gonig super fast too

but then i think it was just in my head

so yeah

im guessing i was shitter thamn usual today

i got a bitten deluxe cheese and regular cheese fron 3 hours ago

tastes like plastic

. . . . . i think i might eat it later

maybe

was feeling pretty funking stupid otday

just all these memories

bad helpful memories just stormed my head at once

and now i see things clearly

all this time i was blinded by my own stupidity

but yeha i think im gunna be a bit better than before

maybe possibly

but still , im lost and

i think i like it this way

or maybe im delusional again

OHMGEE SERIOUSLY

when i liek get out of it fuck its kinda scary i frgn liek hear people and voices its fucking freaky i was walking down the street teh other day and i could hear littel voices i look around and nobody wa sthert eim liek shittin gmyself and it was getitng darek too

fuck spelling mistakes cbf gonig back

i accidently got excited and tried to type faster than i actually can

so yeah

gnigth bye

PUT A SMILE ON YOUR DILE

WE'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE WHILE

GOOD BYE FOR TODAY

WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN

fucking dumbshits

barely hanging on

its 2:11 am

early saturday morning

im sitting here listening to Scars by Paparoach

sober and exhausted

now i feel stupid

but I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know,

right now you can't tell ,But stay awhile

and maybe then you'll see A different side of me

copied and pasted

then tattooed across my heart

no not the lyrics

not them anyways

seems like just yesterday

.

for hating you i blame myself

.

no its not a depression blog , no not even an elevating blog

its just me typing what im listening to

the sentences that stand out

the words that hit me like a brick

the times i will never forget

. . . . memories

sewed together but so broken up inside

ying roo ying mai kow jai

the more i know the more it confuses me

a song about love by BODYSLAM

a thai rock band

love it

.

i never should have .

fuck it

lets just make a snow list ,

well actually i already made it on my phone

but im just gunna copy n paste. . .

by retyping this Knigger

Things to bring:

• V can x 2
• snacks x heaps
• tissue
• mints [ morning breathe ]
• small towel
• moist cream
• deodorant
• water
• shorts
• spare socks
• maccas board games

hmm that list doesnt go well with this layouty thing

but ima leave coz i mentioned it and i cbf backspacigng this thing and that thing

fuck

im sorry

no imnot

FUCK YOU

fuck i hope i dont get mood swings

i mean i wouldnt notice

but i just hope i dont get them

goodnight

bye

and dont forget me

came home and realised someone stole me heart

fuck
ing hell
i needa soemthnig to do
i needa commit myself to soemthnig or someone
im fucking wasting away and is pissing me off
for fuck sakes
or i can just be that guy from day n nite - kid cudi
but yeah
im wayyy cool anyways
fucking
im so fucking confuckingfusded
but i think its okay
coz id rather be confused then know something i dont want to know
tryna decied etyna decide
if i really wannna go out tonight
. . . . . . . .
WITH NOTHNIG BUT YOUR T SHIRT ONNNN
fucking dirty slut
JUST KILL ME ALREADY
fucking slicing me up into pieces
one cube at a time just to
see the despair in my eyes
fuck im adictionary that shit niow
fucking despair liek wtf
. . . .
WTF I LOVE THIS WORD
omgeee despair
ima fuck on that shit'
. . . . . . sighhhhhhhhh
fuck i am so fucking angry
i dont even fucking know why
what you think ima fucking share this fucking shit woth you
you fucking goldigger
nigger
fuck
bury me a whole a nd fuck offff
omgee
head spins
gnight fucker
byeee

crawling back into my oyster

shutting off the world like fuck
ima fucking constant screw up
it like someones following me
making sure i fuck up harder and harder
or maybe its just my conscience
making sure i dont get to ahead of myself
well i know im a fucking wreck
YOU DONT HAVE TO FUCKING REMIND ME
gosh fucking damnit
wtf do you want from me ?
what do i haev anywyas
fuck you backspace
fuck you info hw
fuck you chemistry
fuck every fucking thing
fuck thank gosh its the mother fucking holidays soon
i need this
actually no i dont im just a fucking sook
fucken
whatevr
just go fuck yourself (over)

. . . .
G give me strength
and money
fuck i dunno about snow anymore
:S
fucken
i can see clearly now that the rain is here

left me weak and broken

welll satday was fun
friday was disappointingly SHIT
funny how bobbie necked joyce thoguh LOL
she like dragged her right across teh floor fkn crazy woman
never mess with that woMAN
felt kinda depressing being th only guy who didnt hook up on sat day
well i think i was the only guy ??
bu tfinding out about jenina was liek wow
AND I FUCKING THOUGHT SHE WAS AVOIDING ME DAMNNNN FUCK
walk home was funny
hardish trynig to control stefans angry drunk mood
but i managed '
AFTER FKN FAT TRUONG WHALE LE DITCHED US
fkn got ride form gina fkn dog kunt
oh well i dont blame him
we were beating him anyways lol
and we broke a fence lol accidnet thoguh swear
and fkn stefan swearing at random people
im like omgee i hope the alki doesnt slow me down
and my pants kept slipping
and omgee LOL
me n stef rollnig around in fkn salvo clothes we found in front of st vinnies lOL
funny asss
good night thatt one
well some of it
and omgee frgn sunday came along with his friend hangover
killed me working at maccas
i felt liek so light headed and liek sometimes everythnig is moving super fast
then liek id be freezing time
but yeah i think i managed well
monday woke up late
went to school at recess
sneaked through the back
felt liek a siknt
and then yeah
finished off 7C done 7D
cleaned my room
IMA FUCKING LEGEND
party my house these holidays ?
hmmmm thinknig hard
very hard

My list of things to buy when im rich :

• skate board
• hoodie (grey or white or maybe red :S)
• new jacket
• beez neez ( beer with honey in it hmmm )
• flask
• EAR PHONE OMG need em so bad( only one ear works on mine frgn)
• new SHOES
• and save up for a car

yehahh
im tired
almost sleepy
but yess
ima start taking more photos and vids
good times ( great classic hits)

omfg the girls i choose
im so stoopid
maybe i have bad taste
or im blind
or both
or i find out about the bf a year later
frgn lisa
frgn NO ! CONTROL YOURSELF
okay sorry man my bad
gnight single ladies

shattered

fuck satday
was. WAS gunna go kyles and fly to teh sky
but then shit happens
and shit gets shitter
so yeah
- - - - - -
alcohol,
happiness in a bottle
happiness you can buy.
nah not realy actually i dont get THAT happy when i drink
id say it depends on your environment
yeah
omgeee
teh question i will never ask ever agin
"does she have a boyfriend ?"
fucking everysingle frgn time
devastating
bu thten again
i should be used to didding my own grave
over
and over
and over
and over again
worked today
was abit out of it
but id say i did pretty okay
omg i looked os shit witht he rest of my crew im like
shti havent been here for a while
but yeah
well im bored outta my system
ima go for a walk soon
i lost the mood
goodnight
miserable at best BY mayday parade
enjoy