crashing and burning

im soo fucking sick and tired of always having to blame myself
its fucking wasting my time, wasting my life and killing some pretty fucking good opportunities
ewww
i just sneezed
not one of those cute ones tho
COZ IM A FUCKING MONSTER BEAST
fuck anybody ever notice how fat sean kingston is ?
i like the song 1,2,3,4 by plain white ass T's
but back to my angry depression
farr
all the times ive fucked up
ima fucking gutless wonder
as senseless as a deaf and blind stooge
but whatever
ive been doing this for too long
ima fuck it
leave it behind . . .
wait aminute
that sounds quite familiar
i think ive said that before
but anyways
"put the dark side behind you,
that way the shadows will fall behind you"
- a book
sigh
one day ill fully forgive my self
for now this will do
fuck im a a hypocrite
but i make the mistakes so that you can learn from them
. . . . man i think im scared
fuck i think i needa buy a safe to keep my shit in
OMFG TRUST ISSUES
fucking contagious
well im pretty angry and fucked over
FUCK THERE I GO AGAIN
goodnight before i rage

another night, another dream wasted on you

i liek centreing my words

it looks ooher

fucking chris wotn tell wth went wrong

gosh damnit

WHATEVER

although im gettting a il paranoid of otehr situations

like hmmmm

and omfg

went work today bloody smashed and wrecked

i was having headspins n shit

while making burger im like wtff

i think my manager thinks im retarded

gosh

but omgee baddest idea ever

it wa sliek my body was movign before i could think and liek

everything was moving so fast

but then i felt liek i was gonig super fast too

but then i think it was just in my head

so yeah

im guessing i was shitter thamn usual today

i got a bitten deluxe cheese and regular cheese fron 3 hours ago

tastes like plastic

. . . . . i think i might eat it later

maybe

was feeling pretty funking stupid otday

just all these memories

bad helpful memories just stormed my head at once

and now i see things clearly

all this time i was blinded by my own stupidity

but yeha i think im gunna be a bit better than before

maybe possibly

but still , im lost and

i think i like it this way

or maybe im delusional again

OHMGEE SERIOUSLY

when i liek get out of it fuck its kinda scary i frgn liek hear people and voices its fucking freaky i was walking down the street teh other day and i could hear littel voices i look around and nobody wa sthert eim liek shittin gmyself and it was getitng darek too

fuck spelling mistakes cbf gonig back

i accidently got excited and tried to type faster than i actually can

so yeah

gnigth bye

PUT A SMILE ON YOUR DILE

WE'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE WHILE

GOOD BYE FOR TODAY

WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN

fucking dumbshits

barely hanging on

its 2:11 am

early saturday morning

im sitting here listening to Scars by Paparoach

sober and exhausted

now i feel stupid

but I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know,

right now you can't tell ,But stay awhile

and maybe then you'll see A different side of me

copied and pasted

then tattooed across my heart

no not the lyrics

not them anyways

seems like just yesterday

.

for hating you i blame myself

.

no its not a depression blog , no not even an elevating blog

its just me typing what im listening to

the sentences that stand out

the words that hit me like a brick

the times i will never forget

. . . . memories

sewed together but so broken up inside

ying roo ying mai kow jai

the more i know the more it confuses me

a song about love by BODYSLAM

a thai rock band

love it

.

i never should have .

fuck it

lets just make a snow list ,

well actually i already made it on my phone

but im just gunna copy n paste. . .

by retyping this Knigger

Things to bring:

• V can x 2
• snacks x heaps
• tissue
• mints [ morning breathe ]
• small towel
• moist cream
• deodorant
• water
• shorts
• spare socks
• maccas board games

hmm that list doesnt go well with this layouty thing

but ima leave coz i mentioned it and i cbf backspacigng this thing and that thing

fuck

im sorry

no imnot

FUCK YOU

fuck i hope i dont get mood swings

i mean i wouldnt notice

but i just hope i dont get them

goodnight

bye

and dont forget me

came home and realised someone stole me heart

fuck
ing hell
i needa soemthnig to do
i needa commit myself to soemthnig or someone
im fucking wasting away and is pissing me off
for fuck sakes
or i can just be that guy from day n nite - kid cudi
but yeah
im wayyy cool anyways
fucking
im so fucking confuckingfusded
but i think its okay
coz id rather be confused then know something i dont want to know
tryna decied etyna decide
if i really wannna go out tonight
. . . . . . . .
WITH NOTHNIG BUT YOUR T SHIRT ONNNN
fucking dirty slut
JUST KILL ME ALREADY
fucking slicing me up into pieces
one cube at a time just to
see the despair in my eyes
fuck im adictionary that shit niow
fucking despair liek wtf
. . . .
WTF I LOVE THIS WORD
omgeee despair
ima fuck on that shit'
. . . . . . sighhhhhhhhh
fuck i am so fucking angry
i dont even fucking know why
what you think ima fucking share this fucking shit woth you
you fucking goldigger
nigger
fuck
bury me a whole a nd fuck offff
omgee
head spins
gnight fucker
byeee

crawling back into my oyster

shutting off the world like fuck
ima fucking constant screw up
it like someones following me
making sure i fuck up harder and harder
or maybe its just my conscience
making sure i dont get to ahead of myself
well i know im a fucking wreck
YOU DONT HAVE TO FUCKING REMIND ME
gosh fucking damnit
wtf do you want from me ?
what do i haev anywyas
fuck you backspace
fuck you info hw
fuck you chemistry
fuck every fucking thing
fuck thank gosh its the mother fucking holidays soon
i need this
actually no i dont im just a fucking sook
fucken
whatevr
just go fuck yourself (over)

. . . .
G give me strength
and money
fuck i dunno about snow anymore
:S
fucken
i can see clearly now that the rain is here

left me weak and broken

welll satday was fun
friday was disappointingly SHIT
funny how bobbie necked joyce thoguh LOL
she like dragged her right across teh floor fkn crazy woman
never mess with that woMAN
felt kinda depressing being th only guy who didnt hook up on sat day
well i think i was the only guy ??
bu tfinding out about jenina was liek wow
AND I FUCKING THOUGHT SHE WAS AVOIDING ME DAMNNNN FUCK
walk home was funny
hardish trynig to control stefans angry drunk mood
but i managed '
AFTER FKN FAT TRUONG WHALE LE DITCHED US
fkn got ride form gina fkn dog kunt
oh well i dont blame him
we were beating him anyways lol
and we broke a fence lol accidnet thoguh swear
and fkn stefan swearing at random people
im like omgee i hope the alki doesnt slow me down
and my pants kept slipping
and omgee LOL
me n stef rollnig around in fkn salvo clothes we found in front of st vinnies lOL
funny asss
good night thatt one
well some of it
and omgee frgn sunday came along with his friend hangover
killed me working at maccas
i felt liek so light headed and liek sometimes everythnig is moving super fast
then liek id be freezing time
but yeah i think i managed well
monday woke up late
went to school at recess
sneaked through the back
felt liek a siknt
and then yeah
finished off 7C done 7D
cleaned my room
IMA FUCKING LEGEND
party my house these holidays ?
hmmmm thinknig hard
very hard

My list of things to buy when im rich :

• skate board
• hoodie (grey or white or maybe red :S)
• new jacket
• beez neez ( beer with honey in it hmmm )
• flask
• EAR PHONE OMG need em so bad( only one ear works on mine frgn)
• new SHOES
• and save up for a car

yehahh
im tired
almost sleepy
but yess
ima start taking more photos and vids
good times ( great classic hits)

omfg the girls i choose
im so stoopid
maybe i have bad taste
or im blind
or both
or i find out about the bf a year later
frgn lisa
frgn NO ! CONTROL YOURSELF
okay sorry man my bad
gnight single ladies

shattered

fuck satday
was. WAS gunna go kyles and fly to teh sky
but then shit happens
and shit gets shitter
so yeah
- - - - - -
alcohol,
happiness in a bottle
happiness you can buy.
nah not realy actually i dont get THAT happy when i drink
id say it depends on your environment
yeah
omgeee
teh question i will never ask ever agin
"does she have a boyfriend ?"
fucking everysingle frgn time
devastating
bu thten again
i should be used to didding my own grave
over
and over
and over
and over again
worked today
was abit out of it
but id say i did pretty okay
omg i looked os shit witht he rest of my crew im like
shti havent been here for a while
but yeah
well im bored outta my system
ima go for a walk soon
i lost the mood
goodnight
miserable at best BY mayday parade
enjoy

heart shaped box

fuck im lovin my kelly clarksons right now
her lyrics are pro ass bu tthe beats turn me of so
CANCEL DOWNLOAD
fuck teh fourth of july is too far away
cbf / cant wait til snow
i got a feeling its gunna be traumatic
but where is your heart ?
man damn wish i was taller
its startin to piss me off now but yeah . . .
youd think my heart was made of glass the way it shattered
FUCKING 17 / 30 for my fuckign eng sac piss me out
apparently i wasnt answering the question
and i spelled a lot as alot
but whatever
no NOT WHATEVER
a lot is liek (a)+(certain amount) but then alot is liek more that its liek extra
coz its together
you know what fuck it
coz im just a teenage dirtbag baby
oooo ooo ooo o o o oo o oo o oo oo o
fucking 95%
COULD HAVE BEEN ME
damn you linear equations
fkn needa work on that shit . . . . . no cbf
hmm end of the year
ima ace trigonometry
ace arithmetics ( just equations right) unless its rearrangeing itim screwed
ace bi variate . . . . i hoep fuck i cant compare for shit and then be all liek
teh spread is wide n shit fuck
and whats the otehr one ?
and wtf is sequnce series shit
ima ace you anyways
so dont you worry
info tmro first class
kinda nervous but then yeah
nothnig new
LOL viewing mysapce pics
i think i needa camera
i wann take more pics n vids
good times low times
fuck you 88%
fuck you 17 / 30
ima percent that wait
57% omfg . . . . gayyyyyyyyyy
12 30 my eyes RE TIRED BUT I AM NOT :s
well i lost the mood
good fkn buyy
yes i did spell it wrong
what chu gunna do ?
give m a fkn 17 / 30
fucking

wont go home without you

who we are and who we used to be

a big difference ?

for some

fucking piss me out

im so bored these days

no hw

nothnig

fkn sem 2

now

far outt

and fkn teachers

fuck ing killers

pretty damn fucking pissed

stefan got kicked out of school

coz he wags to much fkn dumb knt

bu tthen fkn gohh

i dunno

its not liek were that close anymore anyways

so yeah

well mm exam was okay i might have gotten 75 % i reckon

fkn html fucke dme over

im liek shitt

but yeha i reckon i did finee

and my panorama pwns anyways
kfkn WTF WAS I GUNAN DOOOO
fkn
shit ass blog goodnighters
not teh kool mood

i dont believe in bridges

well umm
i cant study its too hard to remember
fucken mai den
yeahhh
i just wanan drive thsi fist through a face
anyone
before i turn 18 please
mot chee wit chun hai tur
tae wun nee hua jai tur hai kaow
fuck i love that song
lemme translate for you
"my life i give to you
but today you gave your heart to him/them"
and best part is its a guy and girl
teh guy is from a rock band
and in the background is violin
mmmmmmmmm
lovin my thai songs
i wish we had a thai in our school preferably a girl
even better if she was hot
and wed iek sing thai songs together and speak a language no one else can understand
sighhhh
- - - - - - - -
so many questions i wanan ask
so many answers i dont want to hear
- - - - - - - -
you were the answer to my prayers
tehn became a burden to my life
( still cant make it soundn better
it doesnt have that sense of sweetness)
or emotion
i needa work on that one

so many mistakes
so many regrets
omfg
its killnig me
eating me up inside
AND OUT
worst part is that they were recurring mistakes
i never learn my lesson
im so slow
almost retarded
is quite pathetic
but then we all have out flaws
some are just worse than others
i kinda wanna go church again
but then knowing i will have to smile and pretend i wanna socialize
will look quite bad if im being watched as i roll my eyes every 2 seconds
tehn theres the touching
and hugging strangers and shaking hands of strangers
so cbf i just wanan sit there and listen to other ppls struggles
and how i can live better
or somethnig liek that
omgeee
fuck my eyesa re hurting goodnight

before i become an "everybody else"

well howd i do in my exams ayy ??
Chem fuckded me over
Busman was alright im not sure if it was easy or i think i knew
Maths i think i aced it but ive been wrong before
Eng was easier than i thoguht like dayum
muklti media i will failk
cos i have shit memo
buh yeah
today was a bludge ass day
actually bludge ass week but
yeah im not gunan complain
omgeeeee
i have all bludge subjects fuck
im wasting my time at senior
omgeee
i hope i get into rmit
pray to god
i dnt care what i do i just wanan get in RMIT
please
Supernova - Mr hudson ft kanye WEST
---------------
well i just had some friends over frgn had to lag my blogging time
anbd now i lost the mood so ima finish this on eoff
-------
if ya need a tissue
i got a shoulder
if you need time
i can wait
if you cant then
then ill try not to
but i will
and you wont

well here i am
there you are

and thats all that counts
init ?

lol watching old videos feels pretty damn good
ima make more
and more
and more
even though . . . . .
fuck it goodnight

lead me to the light

is the glass half empty or half full
id say its broken and stained with old memories
but id still drink out of it
dont feel like dehydrating today
but yeah
whatever you feel like.
whenever you feel like
ive got all teh time in the world
and its yours
if you want it to be
or ill just pretend your saving the best til last
you
you this you that
i hate you i love you i miss you
who are you ?
who am i
who are we ?
what are we doing ?
what are you doing
what arent i doing ?
WTF AM I DOING !!
omfg i just noticed all thsi shit i typed
im like dayum you sound lieka fkn dickhead
so dnt mind me
ohp
i dont want to bottle it up
i dont know how to let it out
im wasting away
and its pissing me off
do i want to make a change ?
no i dnt want to force it
crashing crushing secretly
discretely
continuously
categorically
numerically
spread your wings
fly away never look back
wait no im sorry i didnt mean it
fuck its too late
DID YOU KNOW ??
ive been told i was or AM a shit bf ??
but by someone else tho
im like oh yeahh
makes sense
"oops"
then im liek to myself
what am i to do ?
change ?
no fk that
adapt
change teh rules
change the game

wtf i sound likea fkn dickhead lol
okay mr pimp lol
okay okay ill stop im sorry goodnight
have a good one

back in teh days ( myspace bulletin )

from my myspace to here =]

when missing you didnt feel so wrong

when we didnt need alcohol to have a party

when i had a secret crush on you

when truong would just take it and not complain

when the only worry was to look good

when i could rely on you when i needed a hand

when a good day out was kickin back at maccas allday

when the word love didnt mean hooking up and then getting over

when girls got teh respect they "deserved"

when being a friend meant being there

----------------------------------

before everyone changed

before the keyboard became a limb

before back stabbing became a regular chat session

before smoking was the it thing

before looking like a junkie was kool

before riding a bike was embarrasing

before hoes came before bros

before popularity was first priority

before pothead became an occupation

before depression was familiar feeling

before cops became pigs

back in the days when all that mattered was trying to get you to like me as much as i liked youLIKED

telling myself no but my heart is screaming yes

well i think i aced the eng exam IF mrs somerville marks my work
but if someone else does im screwed
chem i fucked up so hard i dnt wanan talk about it
fuck i dunno
im driving my self insane
no not the song
no im not in love with my best friend
like no thnx
but fuck
im spinning out
and i need hold on to something
but then ur all like
ew dont touch me as you watch me fall on my ass
i dont wan tto be here
id rather be dreaming
and school is such a killer
fucking everywhere i look
i see nothing
noone
i dont belong here
bu then again where else ?
----------------------------
do you trust him with your life ?
is he everythnig u ever wanted
fuck whatever
fuck mang
you should have seen the concept map i made of the people at school
and like its actuakllly quite interesting
but ive only got half a picture
if i knew everythnig
then mayeb it could be finished
but yeah
prob not
fuck another weekend with nothnig to do
=[
but oh wells
more time to study i guess . . . . .
omgeee thats so depressing to say
but anyways
fuck it
far out i need new earphone
only one owrks on my current ones
fuck i wanan work liek crazy now
i wanan feed myself with money
hmm do my book tmro ?
nyahh
i needa study for bus man
=[
but how
julies got my bopok
googlke
oh shit good idea
thnx
no probs
fuck i needa shit
gnight byeybyeyybeybe
LATERZZZZZZZ

shit blog sorray

OI DICKFACE

Dear Pavis ,
ive realised youve beeen a real douche
so tell us wtf is ur problem ??
fuck you lazy fat piece of shit
get eh fuck off your ass and study
or fucking cleamn your room
and no i dont mean hide everything under your bed
FUCKING CLEAN TI PROPERLY
fkn exams this week and u havent even picked upa bloody book
do u want to fucking fail ??
fuck am i wasting my time spending my time in this empty room called YOUR FUCKING BRAIN ??
fuck you needa get a move on mate
and wth is this
u dnt read ur books you dont do your revision and you dnt clean your room
and here you are fucking blogging
are you nuts !!
yeah maybe
wait dont answer that
fuck STOP PYELLING AT ME
who the fuck ar eyou talknig to
me or him
him
oh okay
anywyas
-------
well im fucked
had 8 - 12 today
was supposed to wake up at 6 today and catch the 7 02 train
but instead i woke up at liek 6 40
and took teh 7 22
so yeah
i need some new rock songs
sighhhhhhhh
well my abs are still hurting liek crazy
and teh coughing has gotten alot better
surprisingly
how cool
mentally stable
pphysically cosi cosi
emotionally cant complain
what else is there ??
anyways
well im oretty pissed out
laterz
i mean l8rz
jsyk
when are they gunna start using that one ?
well im pretty sick of thishit
FUCK YOU

Nothing feels right

somethings missing this year
maybe its teh changes
or something
but its extra shit this year
i had a pretty shitty day
i dunno what it is or what happened
but it just knocked me off
i doubt that its just coz my "close friend" forgot my bday
actually yeah we arent close anymore
mayeb its a forced thing
liek i dunno ho wot explain it
but yeha
something is missing and i cant quite figure it out
( make any sense ?? cant quite ??)
omg how wierd
i almost sneezed just then bu then instead i shiverdd
went hp today
gto a jacket n jeans
i couldnt even see my jacket vefroe i bought it
soem white KNT was hogging th mirror
fkn ass
but yeha im alright with the purchase bu tnow im thinknig of the jacket from mossimo
damnit
but im let that go
fuck why didnt i go into that store
far outttttt
anyways
FUCK
im donig fkn 2 computer classes and fkn i dnt wnanan do computers in the fucking future
i fucking scrwed up mu subjects
no wi fucking scrweewdd
piece of fucking shit
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
osh fucking damnit
yeah this is a bad time
a confusfojksdiadghkln
]FUCK
IM
sigh
ima blog another time
goodfucking night

tum mai yung ruk dtae tur ( yah bork carw )

far out
so bored
so many things to do
so much time to do
put it off ?? or get it over and done ??
cbf both im just gunna pretend i stopped time
and wait for you to wait for me
fuck its getting harder and harder to loook myself in teh mirror
DONT CALL ME UGLY CHRIS
coz i dnt mean it in that way
gosh fucking damnit
all the fucking opportunities and chances
all the regrets and mistakes
are catching up to me
i cant run anymore
i cant go any further
all the things i prayed for
all the prayers that were answered
then ruined
all the nights staying up thinking of happiness
all the mornings wishing it wasnt a dream
every dream that had to end
every single moment that didnt count
its all come down to nothing
and nothnig is what ill keep with me fo ra long time
until . . . . . .
something
i dunno how to finich that line
or mayeb i just dont fuckin gwant to
FAR OUT LEAVE ME BE
pick me up off the ground
and keep your mouth shut
before the flash lights blind your _____
fuck you brian McKnight
fucked me over
thankyou
fuck cbf book tmro
but i must . move forward
and burn boxes
Mg P Ti B
i hate that word
i dnt even wanan type it !!
even though i have a million billiob trillion times
but yeha
kill me
goodnight
whats ps stand for ??
anyways BYE YOU FUCKING "FRIEND"
i fkn wish

ps. dont bother waking me up in the morning

when skies are grey

i needa lose myself to find myself
apparently
. . . . . . .
fkn
im looking at my hw
and thats a bout it
its so fucking hard
and liek i dunno even know what i have to do like
what hw i ahev left from what i ahevnt done
fuck
im fucking screwed
my luck finally ran out
fucking hell
im so emptyily hungry
i needa fil up . . .
or die
or soemthing fucking hell
balls have been annoying me all day
bu they arent itchy they are just like
. . . not in a good position alot
but no obne wants to hear about my balls
but yeah
fucking hell
just fuck me over on emor etime please let me feel
again
anything
something
or someone
or just fucking FUCKINGNGFIYJHDFZHSDJHNRTDe
anyfucking ways goodnight and goodbye
you fucking killers

7^3

fuck
fuck
what day is it ?
where am i
whats my name
actually
u know what
it doesnt even matter
nothing matters
but lets not talk about nothing
or what i have
oh wait
its teh same thing anyways
fuck you
cant wait o escape outta chem
fkn
but yeha
i cant say it was THAT BADD
but yeah it was still shit
fucken life is boring the shit out of me
or maybe im shtting the bore outta me ??
ew
anyways
lol maybe i should walk 15 meters away so that the toilet can flush
LOLOLOLO
jkz
kidding calm down lol
well now that chris's blue period is over , mine can start
oh shit its my BDAY soon ! . . . . wait cbf
fucken omgeeeee
fucking exams and revision is killing me
its liek gonig through a giant pile of clothes looking for what u wore last fucking term
far out FUCK YOU LINEAR EQUATIONS
came back fromt eh dead to haunt me again
hmmmm
fkn shattererererededererdrerdrer
no not just about the _____ thing
theres other shit too
fucking. . . . goohhhh
i needa piece my life back together
but its alot harder without the glue
and paint and broken pieces
its a fucking mosaic
far out
not what i planned
mayeb itll come out better ?? ^o)
but for now its a person short from being a masterpiece
fucking hell
FUCK YOU
TIEU
fucknugget
i needa stop feeling sorry for myself
and just fucken take my anger out on someone
and then out me out of my misery
by smiling abit more tehn
mayeb illl be like sand man and the pieces will just come back to me
pieces . . . .
i dont liek that word
you know what else i hate i hate the word ugly
but most of all i hate the word . . .
i wont even say it
ew
wait i mean the words
or mayeb its one word ^o)
hmmmmm
oh well
fuck it fuck you
fuck him fuck her
fuck em both and fuck everyone who looks at me
and sticks their nose up
fucken
. . . . .
for now goodnight
i hope you sleep better than i do
if i get any sleep at all
im sorry