i can't love

i dont know what to type
maybe ive been so busy i dont have time to feel sorry for myself
the only adventures i have are in my dreams
kool though, but still :\

whats with girls and their shit taste in guys like fuck
are blind and stupid and fucked in the anus ?
bt then again nice girls are called sluts
and us guys are like :s
bt yeah

so sick of my job
goodnight lovers and friends

teach me how to cry

yeah this is an oldish post i forgot to post so yeah posting it now

im not gonna hate you
im not gunna fuck you over
im not gunna lose myself
unless i already havent didnt
fuck you go correct your face
fuck what am i doing
shame on my fucking face ayy
change is only good if we change together
but i cant figure out which one of us is still the same
i dont think i want to know
but . . . . . yeah
fuck i need someone to blame
or else ima end up hating myself
and its pretty shit
ive had enough of this hating
but its all ur fault
but

*end old post*

yeha im not very a good brother
i want to be there for my family more than anyone else
but i dont knowwwww
its like
my patience is shortest with them
and im so caught up in growing up on my own
and finding myself i . . . forget where i came from

i dunno, i want to be someone my family will be proud to say
they are related to , someone they can boast about to their friends
i mean i WANT change , but am i willing to put in teh effort ?
NOOOOOOOO SIFFF
its like feeling sorry for a hobo
but can i really be bothered reahing in to my pocket and giving money ?
do i really want to give money that i worked hard for
can i spare some change? yes
WILL i spare some change? nooo
WATTA SELFISH BASTARD

yeha i think ive used that metaphor before also

well ive outblogged myself
goodnigth and im sorry
i dont know what i can do to make it up to everyone
i dont even know if i want to make it up to you
but yeah im an asshole
know it, embrace it, feel it

theres something about the way you smile

that just makes my day

i dunno but i never really realised the importance of a smile
and how great it really looks on someone
i think we should bring back the smile instead of trying to look kool by putting on a mean face
and pouts dont count as smilnig so yeah

hmmmm after i kinda ditched alice i was thinkngi of a day that i can make it up to her and
then i realised i was quite busy
sat portayy
sun temple
mon work
tues book work I GOTTA FINISH IT
weds im actually free buts shes not
thurs work :\
fri busy
sat i thnik im free
sun cuz's bday

I SHOULD AHVE BEEN CAREFUL OF WHAT I WISHED FOR WHEN I WAS BOREDDDD
sorry caps bu ti cbf backspacing

how has my week been ?
yesterday was friday
went city n stuff and kill a whole lotta time with chris mostly then stevoh n mario n eriK
sorry alice
thurs was the meeting and i saw thanh and jenny before work
which was nicee
weds i thnik i stayed home ??
yeah i think so
and probably tues as well
and mon i had work maybe ?
yeah i dunno

how have i been ?
ive been very confused
but im always lost and unsure of myself
which is a tremendous flaw
but what can i do ?

yeha i feel funked
ima go now
yeha goodngith byebyeyyb

its not the same without you

yeah he gets it from me
:D
californication is quite good
even without all the unnecessary sex scenes
makes me happy

omgeee yesterday i went to my cuz's house coz my aunt and HIM are going to Thailand for a while but the rest of teh family are staying back
yeah im like im gunna miss you yadadada
and im like if you miss me call me yeah
call 000 lol
and then i heard that he dialled it today
MAKES ME FUCKING HAPPY

fuck sakes i dunno im so fkn
i dont know i just want to falll as hard as i can
i want to catch my breathe
i want answers

fuck it doesn't even matter anymore,
well not to anyone else but me
which pretty much means it doesn't matter anymore
freak i think i need new speakers
i think my bass is screwed
im pretty sure it is
ALRIGHT IM NTO SURE

would you wana know the truth even if it hurt you ?
i cant really answer that one
it kidna scares me
but i hate lies
but i hate white lies more
its liek they pity you so they try make you feel better
WELL GUESSS WHAT . fuck youuuu

thsi is pointleesss
blog next tiem goodnight for now

i want this more than anything

yeah dont mess with us, we are crazy posers
gawsh i miss my moho, but im not doing it
maybe the moho with the fringe
fkn summer and long oily hair
and goodness i hate my long hair especially at the back but im so cbffffff

i dunno
alot of backwards thinking
and it just makes me
feel . . . . stupid
liek why the fuck did i do that
and why didnt you do that
and like why the fuck would you do the opposite
maybe its a reflex that i liek to put myself in shit situations
mayeb i like the challenge
even if i cant handle them

so lets stay up tonight
girl thats all
let me sing you this song

fuck i hate it when i cant sleep
thats when the thoughts really build up
and fuck me over
but if i didnt have these thoughts then
a whole lot of shit woudl still not make sense to me
which is kinda better
what you dont know cant hurt you
right, right

so sick of working already
and fucking rosters are the shittest everrrrr
and fucking book
i got liek 3 weeks to finish

i kinda feel bad
my mum just came in asking what i want tmro and stuff
and then after a while she jumped out saying
i better leave before you get annoyed
although i probably would have gotten annoyed
. . . . . actually i dunno what to say to make me feel better :\

life is not too shabby atm
its just . . . . stufff that doesnt matter
goodnight
fuck yall

words without meaning

another fine bomb by bao on roberts (y)

tell me how much it hurts, make my day

i dunno wtf my problem is, really
its like im trying to find an excuse to be angry at everyone
including myself

the memories i chose to forget have come back to haunt me
and the grudges i forgot to hold are fucking around with me
no point throwing a punch after youve shaken hands
GOSH DAMN MEE

but really i dunno where the hell these flash backs are coming from
i dont even remember them, i just remember that i remembered them
then i forget them then at the worst of times i remember them
and its just at the most pointless time . . . .

cheese egg n bacon from Pie face isnt too bad
but at 4.25 . . . i dunnooooo
hmmm i feel like one now

do you know who you can trust ?
coz i know who i cant.

[ yeha i think it makes sense ]

WELL today was thunder storming
lucky i didnt go school
and i hope the clouds have ran out of rain for tmro
. . . i dunno i feel so :s about tmro liek
fkn hell
PISSS ME THE FUCK OUT
when i go there . . . . . actually
ill tell you later ;)

fuck GEEGEE me

have fun tmro bitches

who needs friends anyway

yeah i dont think i wanna go
ima think up a good excuse

i just did some weights :D
i didnt even do many reps and my arms already hurt
such a weak karrrrrrnt

LOL im not very good at keeping secrets AHAHAHA.
but you can trust me >:]

yeah you can break my heart a thousand times
and id still fall back in love with you
yeah guess who i was thinking about when i came up with that
but i know that who ever you guessed is 100% not the person
or maybe ive heard it somewhere else
and then it just clicked to me now ?

this justin bieber is so young
i dotn liek it
he looks like a small zac efron
but i still like his song(s)

[skip thsi part]
FARRRRK
McHappy day
was quite busy sometimes
but the indian working next to me was being a hog
so i didnt do much
like i know im abit slow BUT DONT TOUCH ANYTHING IN MY AREA
bloody punjab
yeah there were like 6 of us in the kitchen
which results to a packed ass orgy
(i was looking for a word right i think it starts with in- or en- but i settled for results . hmmm)
AND fkn i was in the chaser position (the person who finishes the burger with meat, chic or fish)
FKN teh only thing im not so good at
im fkn pro initiator and assembler but NOOOOO
fkn then halfway through the shift i was assigned to meat LIKE WTF
SIFFFF
but yeha i bludged through that anyways
then i stole the initiators spot later :D

FUCKEN how the fuck do my THEs end up as TEHs
liek fuck i cbf gonig back to fix it
not that i always do but yeha

yeah goodnight for now from your backstabber two faced friend
yours sincerenitely PAVSEX . . . . ew

maybe im a desperate believer

yeah i was worknig on a post and then i deleted it . . . yeah
it was only like four lines anyways.

hmmmm
love love love love love
oh how i hate you so
infatuation, lust and desire
then theres consequence,
shame and regret

fkn i forgot to make a wish gosh damnit
whatever

yeah im just gunna try not to
intrest myself into women for a while
its just a waste of time anyways
and its not liek im gunna grow a pair

frgn i needa rethink everything
but everytime i do i just piss myself off or
find an excuse to rage at someone
id rather not

i just remembered on friday how maria was all like
no this isnt the way this isnt the way
and i was liek 10000000000% sure it was
but she doubted me :@
and nikkie was all like no this isnt the stop
and yes, it was
but no we got off the next one
and walked a block back . . . . .

but yeha mayeb coz im more wrong then i am right
and coz i dont speak with confidence?

you know what i want
a damzel in distress that can look after herself
its liek
she needs me there, but only to watch
or something

this blog was a waste of time
and im so drained from doing nothing

goodbye love i hope i dont see you for a long time
and just coz i smile and talk to you
it doesnt mean i liek you
its all fake
im just not that mean

i think ive made a terrible mistake

LOL thats some fine assss photo bombing right there
im kinda proud of you bao . . . . nyah

well today was . . . . was .
its liek shut the fuck up
nah im not pissed, more annoyed if anything
fuck my feet smell liek shit
i can smell em from here
and my legs are crossed btw
liek sitting on the floor crossed

im harvesting as i think up this blog
. . . . . .yeah

today was, just like school
except we were eating
porterhouse with mushroom sauce . mmm
i wanna try a better steak next time
wait let me rephrase that
a more expensive steak
and THEN see if its better

man park was quite the time killer
but it was aiight
as long as words were being said then id be fine
but yeha i dunno


ANY FRGN WAYS
exams are over woo
Predictions
Busman id say 40% if im lucky
Eng can be liek C+ hopefully
Multimedia like 70% maybe ? i forgot what i did
Info is like 50 % :\
and Gen Maths hopefully 90%+
but yeah im just being hopeful :D

i dunno maybe im being an asshole
maybe im just trying to ruin everyones fun
maybe its just me
but i liek small dinners more
less complicated
less hassle
more cosy
more intimate
but yeah liek i said
maybe im just trying to be a party pooper
wtf is my problem ?
wtf is your problem ?
yeah maybe its just me?
yeah well fuck you too

wth happened ?
i was feeling so damn good
it was liek the pieces just came together
now theyre just falling apart
but im not worried
coz i know everything will be fine
i just need to be patient
faith . :)
all i need and maybe all ive had ?
but it pulls me through

fuck i think i have a virus this thing keeps popping up
gosh dangit cbf im so fkn tired

i got faith, now all i need is hope
goodnight

i just want to kill you

this blog may get confusing

ima start off when i was cleaning the pot thing
coz i umwait yeah
okay today i came home from school and mum has to go to work on weds after work
yeah two jobs
but anyways before she left
what do you want to eat she asks
i say i dunno nothnig
yadayadayadayadayadayadayada
so she steams egg n veges together liek a steamed omlette
anyways she says ten minute
i say alright ten minutes
twenty minutes pass and she calls me and asks if i checked teh food
i say yes (obviouslynot) so i go checked it
I THOUGHT i turned it off but i actually left it on low

i take regular trips to the kitchen right
btw im home alone
and everytime i go there the pot is still steaming
i thought iwas mega odd even after three hours
i didnt think id leave the fire on
so yeah
yadayadayadayadayada
at liek 8 i go coles come back round 8 40
and the house smells like burntish chicken
so i look at the kitchen
and if the light wasnt off i wouldnt have seen
that fire under the pot

and i turn it off
and go to my room coem back
look inside the pot
and its fkn black and flakey
i stress a lil
then i scrubbed it mega hard till it was clean
i was liek wow
i thought the metal was breaking
but it was just residue
so yeah lucky me

during the time i cleaned the pot i thought up everything i was gunna type on my blog
even that very line that i would type up every thing i thought
and i was in that trance for a while
and omgeee there this handwash in my bathroom
IT FUCKING AWSOME
aloe and blueberry liek wtfff
smell so frgn good
makes me wanna eat my hands
but yeha
i thouht of blogging that too

fuck i forgot everythign i wanted to type
anyays at coles i bought cheese tubes , flavoured mineral water and deoderant
roll on . NO CFCS mother fucker
DONT FUCK AROUDN WITH THE ENVIRONMENT
ill chop ya kunt

Yeah sorry about that ive been a lil very stressy lately
fuck i dnt even know why im stressing about sarahs
its not even my fucking party
ffs daMN THOSE FUCKING PAMPHELT INVITE SHIT FUCK
and fucking ppl pissing me off
and btw someone is lying
its either kyle or risa
they are telling me two different things
and ive asked them
so the only way i can find out who the liar is
is by confronting them both at thye same time
which i will this sunday
ima fucking rage
coz im fucking pissed
i dotn give a shit if i lose a "best" friend
or never talk to my sister ever again

i want the fucking truth
and ill do anything to get it
fuck sakes
i just wanan fucking pop pills and go sky diving or someshit

anything to pop my heart outta my chest
its not liek i need it anyways
fucking hell
and yeah im not gunna "waste" my time
or make myself look liek the retard
im just gunna fkn deal with it
whatever that means

fuck im not gunna blog for a while
goodnight and sweetdreams
i hope you a better day than mine

girl dont make me spank you

continuation
fucking bad mother fucking news
FUCK YOOUU MAN SERIOUSLY
FUCK YOU
fuck i Dont even know wth im suppoosed to do
actually here i go again with the
oh im so lost im a fkn pussy
eat my shit
JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP
wtf am i on about ?
ill tell you


no i wont i lied
hahah . . . .
yeah shut up
fucking hell
hehe . . what

im sorry im really
fucking
sorry
hahaha

you make me laugh
you make me angry
you make me everything i never wanted to be
its so fucking funny

reality check

yeah i knew it was too good to be true
life was so good
but theres always a catch
or fall

hard to breathe - nikki flores

i need a second opinion from you

thanks for eating my shit
goodnight
im cute btw

i feel good :\

Omfffffffffing GEEEEE
Like wtf
Where did that even come from. FUCK
Save me. Actually im alright i dnt need saving
False alarm
DONG WORRY

fuck im gunna have to hassle to get some money for this so called "end of penis party"
WE NEED MONEY AIIGHT
no money no party
no money no penis

GOSH
I'm so fucking con fucking fused like wtf FFS
i just want to shut down and camouflage into the backdrop
BUT NOOOOOO

fkn
I'm just gunan . . . i dunno
i really fucking dont know
fuck I'm so fucking indecisive
i hate this about me
never can make up my fkn tiny little mind YA FUCKIN
maybe its true . . . . second thought no
FUCK YOUUU BITCHESSS
no fuck this retard typing with his hoodie on inside the house
goff

i needa break another one
far far away from the city lights and over dramatizations

i was hoping the stars would shine yesterday
but they were cockblocked by the clouds
but then again i was almost cockblocked but then it
actually backfired and i dunno what the word is but yeah
i dunno i really fucking dont
i needa punching bag
but i dont have a place to put it :@
i wanan go gym
but so cbf

GOSH FUCKING DAMNIT
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
to be continued
i dont wann blog anymore bye for now
goodnight love

i dont like women,i dont like men, i like couples

i dont want your excuses, i just want you

you and your beautiful soul . . . . . . . . .
BAHAHAHAH im messin with ya
that was sooo ew

okay on my mind atm end of yeah party
okay PPL i wanna ask to go
sophie n her friends
melb girls girls
christina and her friends
and maybe qiqi
BRB im watch tv n FV

okay im back and im a bit blank but ima talk bout my weekend

okay so on friday i got home and fell asleep early :\

then on sat i went to some shitty party

so i ditched that went to city

and had frgn chinese food

frgn im so sick of (most) asian food

. . . yeah then went arcade and by then i was very bleh

actually i think i was liek that all day :s

but anyways

yeah sunday work . . . . . OMFGGGG

YOU IDIOT , everyone

so fucking sick of work, seriously man fuck

yes you are now all men

monday i woke up at 8 24ish

woke up me sis

went back to sleep

then woke up round 10 ish

so i decided to go city and get some book done

instead kristine was there

and we talked most of the time
and i got paiddd for it:D

well that wasa wasted post read THE ONE BEFORE !!

i think ? its better ? ^o)

anyways goodnight nigstars

im such a fucking pussy

fucking hell
gosh kill me now
coz if you dont the anxiety will
i dont even know if it makes sense
ima go dic anxiety BRB

okay i got it

wow this week has been so shit
i needa adjust back to going school again
:\
school is slower than usual
people talk less too
fkn 30 / 38 for maths test GOSHHHH DAMNIT
D+ for Eng Sac FUCKIN DAHH
i cant find an artwork for multi media . . . . umm fuck?
and bm i well i dont do shit in bm but yeah
and info is always shit as shit

well ive decided to go RAW :$
fuck i needa gather my balls
if i even have any
fuck fuck fuck
i dunno im stressing
GOSHHH FUCK
im gunna have a break down
. . . . . . . . nah im past that phase
fly now crash later
i love it
but i cant say im full yby it
coz ill always be thinking of teh consequences before i do something
so yeahhhhhhhhhh. .. .

ANYWAYS
im getting all excited inside now
i dont know if im gunna be able to control myself
but i think its anger too
because im a fucking gutless wonder . . .
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

fuck okay what have i done lately
hmmmm just alotta sleeping
and liek . . . . yeah

this blog is long enough
goodnight

i feel dirty and mean

i got this bad feeling inside of me
i think its guilt
but im not sure if ive really done anything wrong
maybe its all in my head
hopefully
i feel bad in a good way
im just so upmyself
its getting abit annoying
but it feels so damn good

its like doing something bad
the nerves and adrenaline clash and create
a new level of euphoria
but not as amazing . . . . .
but the point is im feelin good and guilty
and fucking confused
and all this spinning and thinking is making me mad

damn women really do drive me crazy
and its killin me
slowly
gently
am i supposed to feel this way
is this the injection before the surgery
which is supposed to imply a happy ending
but we all know they are just as real as santa

hmm today i went crew outing
surrogates
shit shit shit
gawsh
but yeah hehehehehe
fuck im so slow
and stupid
but its too late now
oh man now you got me all blushing inside
SHUT THE FUCK UP

fuck sakes
anyways where was EYE
oh yeah

i dunno im abit very shaky
and a lil scared
i dunno if i should make a promise i dunno i can keep
whats a metaphor for that ?
hmm anyways

im sick and tired of this shit
goodnight fuckers

a ha ha fucking ha

yeah i feel pretty fucking good
i had quite a good ass day today
i woke up showered went to brunswick then trammed to city
went halfway to kbox then decided to go maccas to cash out
saw kyle chris n linh in teh kitchen which was pretty kool
talked to tianna (y)
and saw phuong phuong thao n kristine
which was aiight
had half a snack wrap and half a apple pie and a standard mocha with
hazelnut syrup which was frgn good made by thaoo
but i only had half of that too
i felt sickish so yeah
made my way to kbox
met with thanh n jennoh n her bf n her friends
went to . . . what was it ? crown
they had thai food ther and i wanted a thai beef salad
BUT THENNN NOOOOOOOOOOOO
we jst had to leave
which was quite awkward just comnig in and then leaving
and went to wonton house or someshit
when we went in i couldnt stand my sickness
so i went to the bathroom and ejaculated out of my mouth
which felt heapssssss better
then i ordered a small wonton soup and a hot honey lemon
i only had one wonton out of three
and drank half the drink it tasted bitter after


yeah i made new friends which is a plus
i forgot ones name but i will not mention who coz just in case
BUT ANYWAYS
liek dayum
it was quite awkward coz i was liek not talking to anyone until we went to starbucks
and then i shined liek a white man in africa
the dark side of town not south africa
starbucks was fun just chillaxing
omfg jenny took my jumper :@
gosh i wonder when ill get it back
GOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i should have went karaoke DAMNIT
oh wells

i just grabbed abeer from teh fridge
hope mum isnt too angry
coz i already opened
omgee now i feel stupid
omgee mumss gunna be liek wtf why u drinking omgee
fuck oh well
WHATEVERRRR
fuck this beer is good

anyways where were we
oh yee haha
then we went back to mc oh yeah did i mention two girls left after we left crown restaurant ?
anyways
mc
oh right befor ewe went in we got cookies from subway which i really did nto want
i had a bite and felt sick so yeeee
got a timetable for soem knt
tehn went to buy tickets for . . . . 500 days of summer i think ? or fame but i did not watch the movie coz i was waiting for kyel to finish work at 9 30 so we can go victors
we chilled at the top level for a while just sitting and talking
and i was feelin pimp
LOL sighhhhhhh
then we said our goodbyes :D
and jenny disappeared with my jumper
and then cindy p disappeared leaving me n cindee n
so we went looking for her tehn me n cn split on swanstonstarbucks
coz kyle was waiting at mc clock and cp was like towards flinders

got to kyle got on the train
fkn stopped at foots coz construction
then fkn bussed to sunshine
then fucking walked to vics house where my mum picked me up
fkn victor
tells us to go to his house and he goes to a party
but i feel bad coz he ran hoem and i couldnt stay there
i ditched kyle at vic house
and as i drove hom,e i saw vic
lucky my mum didnt see

i came home feeling full of myself
and hungry
hungry for more then what i have
you dont know what u got till its gone
they couldnt stop singing that song goshhh
but i love it anywyas

ZAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i needa know what i want
i needa know where i wanan go
if yuo stand in the middle of a crossroad for too long your gunan get hit
LOLO

i needa make a choice and stick to it
i feel like dancing
i needa party
liek party party

fucking holidays are finsihed
FUCK SAKES

peaceoutmofos

maybe we're trying to hard

Empty – the click five
Well fuckin Bao is being a douche making me look like a fucking idiot
At work for fuck sakes
The fucking managers are coming down on me like fkn Hiroshima
Fucking hell
I don’t want to talk to Bao for a while
And fuckin Kyle but that is over
He fkn cancels his fkn shift 30 mins before his supposed to start
Fuck I dunno where the fuck I’m supposed to hide my face
. . . .Fuck
Oh yes back to when I was wondering if people liked me
I was just thinking the other day like wow
It never occurred to me that I could be hated or disliked
Coz I mean I say a lot of shit and do a big shit
But I’ve always thought I was like sometimes fun and like cool
But maybe maybe
I’m annoying or outspoken maybe
Like
maybe people don’t want to hear me say yeah ur bum look big in them jeans
Even if it is true
But fuck its confusing
Almost life changing
Hmmmmmm yeah well everyone pisses me off
And if you think youre pissed at me
Then guess what ? IM MORE PISSED AT YOU
Fucker
Ill go to sleep and never come back to this treacherous world
Today work was bludge . . . . this week , week one on holidays,
I worked weds, thurs, fri, and suns
WOOOOO
SHOW ME THE MONEY BITCH
Still on the first week,
Monday i went coles to meet up with kyle, had pizza chilled at the park for ages
Then it rained . so we were liek shit . . .
Tuesday went stefs abit of catching up and a lil talking bout the changes and shit
And yeha that was my fuckin first week
How wasted
OH adn on Friday went ngans and liek yeha just kickin back liek gangSTARS which was aiight
Had choc ripple cake which was interesting i wanan make it one day
Tasted quite good , but i wont admit it
Played abit of ds with ngans bro
Like DAYUM his actually pretty good
Farrr out
Andn final destination . . . . . nyahhh
I dnt liek watching movies much
But yeha
Then went to fkn work which was quite crazy
. . . . . . . .
I need to grow some balls
I might all nighter it tonight
Goodnight honeydew

OH shit i almost forgot
i finally know how you girls felt about the whole . . .nyah

dont ask me to explain myself, because i cant

happy birthday steven
i respect you very alot
have fun and think

hmm where should i start?
ill talk about shine
on wedsday
that was mega shiiittttt
like fuzzman
and frgn kyle so frgn annoying lol
i used to think maria had a really good voice
but now i think ive gotten too used to her
:\ its alll gooood

thurs had work which was . . . . nyahhh whatever

friday had robertohs
which was . . . . unusually fun
i walked in late with S, V, C, N, A, B and P
and was liek whered evryone go ?
but the music was loud and the ppl were pumped so
it was a good night
except for little things that just . . . . yeah
where the hell did she GOOOO
im quite surprised i didnt chuck though which is a plus
and fkn that knt screaming moths gosh damnit
i fkn bruised my ankle and arms but my ankle feels the fuckedest
mmmm freee alki, kinda
and i even talked to ppl i dont normally talk to at school
so i guess that means i have to say hello more :\
but yeha i guesss its okay
i didnt properly sleep till like four i dunno why
and then i woke up early :\
like 11-12 ish i think
hmmm what else happened ?
besides michelle saroh and staycay coming . . . . .
. . . . . . . . .
yeahhhhhh anyways
fkn i gave out liek fkn 5 smokes
thats frgn 20% of a deck and a deck costs round 13 bucks
farrrr oh well they didnt seem like assholes yet '
OH LOLOL when phuong pushed that ralph/raph guy lol
shes so awsomeee
hmm yeah thats all for now

i shall now get ready to pick up A from work n go n see J
wooooooo
DUHUHUHUHUHUHU

maybe it best if i dont understand

once a mother fucking gain
im left looking liek the fucking stoopid idiot
fucking hell i need to push the shovel away and just jump in teh hole already
fucking hell .
i cant believe those guys were smoking up and no one noticed
but yeah what can we do anyways

fuck sakes i was right
damn you gut feeling
fuck im a gutless wonder

anyways lets talk about something fun ish
well i drove to fucking sunshine
yeah ima fucking hard kunt nigguh shit
donr fuck around with me
AND LOL i fucking pissed on truongs car door handle LOLOLOLO
on the drivers side of course
and i cock blocked tina from truong
HAHA sorry truong not tonight
NOT WHILE IM AROUND

besides that everything was just . yeha

lol i totally went 120+
im a fkn siknt
well now im tired with matsh hw to do
and busman to study for but i cant and i wont coz
i have to clean my room and sleep
fuck what was with all the beer
:\
and all the fkn guys
ratio was fkn 4:1 AND 4 beign the guys
fucks ssakes
oh well not liek it would have made a difference anyways


fucking GRAGHHHHH
fuck what the hell do i do
i feel so angry
and i can feel it stiring inside ripping up my guts while i put this fugly poker face on
i need some . . . pain killers
cbf though
fuck it im gunna clean my room now
and maybe i can sleep it off
maybe i can sleep it away
maybe everyone will go fuck themsleves
good night "friends"
have fun watching me fall to pieces
i dunno how to spell it olevua orevwa
omgee i googled it no where close
Au revoir

let change take its course

okay okay okay
no stress
i think ive re-fridgeted
now that i think about it
it makes more sense
and no one would question it
coz it seems reasonable

but anyways, ineeda gym
my arms are looking skinny
im hungry, yeahh
today i had.
potato scallops, jam donut, hotdog w/cheese
then med mighty angus meal with an apple pie
yeahhh
ima go sniff out the kitchen soon
but for now lets finish this one up

lets buy happiness is good
by whoeevr . . . i dunno cbf
well read teh blog before this one its so much better
ima go now fucking goose night

pavis is so rat

im tryin not to fly to high
but teh crash shouldnt be too bad
its been an okay/shit week
meaning nothing good has happened

My life is a packet of original chips
its not too bad like
it COULD be better but
at least i have a lil salt
i mean you can deal with it if your hungry but it doesnt FULLY satisfy you
but yeha i always want more

FUCK its only thurs day and my $180 pay is fucking gone
like WTFF did i spend it on??
lets see
maccas like 15 mighty angus meal and one by itself
nandos chicken wrap with perinaise 15
jabbawocks 55
loans pressie chip in 40
loans food 10
the cake 5
and fucking 20 for fucking kyles ticket which i better get back fukin :@
oh and maccas again another 10
but i had 10 bucks before my pay too so . . . .
oh yeah school food n bus tickets . . .
FUCK
15+15+55+40+10+5+20+10 = 170
fuck in two mother fucking days
fucking maccas
and fucking nandos . wasnt even that hungry
and fucking kyle fucking unorganised fuck

well at least half of it was well spent ?
hopefully

gosh, giving up on crushing has kind of made me happier
no disappointments no anger
just pure jealousy. ill deal with you later

the old me is dead and gone
but i really miss the older older me
kind of, only slightly
he was nicer, genuinely. not this forced niceness
that comes out of pity of this pride filled shell
less worries i miss that view of the world

the old me. hate that song
fuck im such a mother fucking rat
and it wasnt even worth it
i deserve a slash on the back
a good bleed is all i need

i propose a challenge
whoever can get the thanh guy to talk
like full convo stuff
i will give him/her $20
for real
i want to but the moment never comes

this has been a long enough blog
its been a pleasure typing my shit onto teh screen
my asshole hurts now
so goodnioght
and i want you to know
if you think youve got me all figured out
then you can go fuck yourself

always and forever . sure

love is a curse and the only cure is heartbreak . . .
duhuhuhuhu
forever is a lie
yeah what do i know about love
for all i know its about eating
still nothing good
but nothnig bad so im quite alright
kind of almost enjoying life now
actually . . ..nyahhh i dunno
mayeb its just coz ive been going school on time
my rooms a mess . cbf
IM SORRY ANNA
omgeee

i think i need help
if i reached my arm out
would you hold on to me and never let me go
whatever
words will always only be words
say anything you want
coz we'll never know whats really going on inside that fucked up brain of yours
HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS LIKE A MOTEHR FUCKING RAMSHEEP FUCKKKKKKK
something just popped up out of my motehr freaking msn
MOTHER FUCKER
whatever . what the fuck ever
im okay
your okay everyone is pretending to be happy
its all good
fucking . . . . . fuck whatever

wow that was a close one
almost depressed you there but nah ill leave it for another day
goodnight for now
its okay to backstab

cause i dont think that theyd understand

oh shit
maybe things are getting better
maybe ive finally won the fight
maybe just a battle in a war ?
but a victory none the less

friends are kinda getting on my nerves
i just wanna pack my suitcase and leave
ouch i got a bruise on my right thigh
feels kinda good though
but im not gunna bitch out
i hope not
fuck it feels like an egg
not until i find a better word than bitch out

i watched GI. JOE today
quite the good one
chick is crazy hot
drooooooooools bruz
tap that shit anyday of the week

day started off FUCKING ANNOYING AN BORING
until like i had a mother then i was liek DOOF DOOF BAM BAM
i got out of my shitty mood
oh satday btw
aND yeah things started to look better after that one drink
got home quite late but mums okay so im okay

well i cbf i got work tmro i mean today
10 hours
so yeha
goodnight nd goodluck

im not angry

i just want to rip ur head open and look into your eyes as the blood runs down your cheek.
for fucking jews sakes.
all i need to do is remind myself of how much i hate you n him n her and i think ill be fine.

well i can see clearly now that the sun is down
all those stars i thought were shining
were just dreams, holograms, fakes
and ive never felt better in my life

no i lied . im actually feeling neutral
nothing is coming nothing is going
actually . . . . . i take that one back
but its still neutral. whatever
but i must say. i fucking hate you
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
i wanna scream . lostprophets - rooftops

scream your heart out
and let me steal it away from you
open up and you leave yourself vulnerable
never again. but then again. never say never
so yeah not never.
but youve sewn yourself shut
and we dont give a shit
just get the fuck up and dance til your legs break
make me smile.
just one more time

and fuck pretending
dont give me that smiling shit
you can talk to me for a hundred years and you still
wouldnt fucking know who the fuck i am
so you can go join the fucking saddle club
and suck your horses dick

now that weve gotten that out of the way
how was your day ?
yeha you know i lie
coz i dotn give a shit mother fucker

nah now seriously now that we have built that bridge
. . . . mums angry
im careless, reckless and selfish
and yeah
it would have bothered me 3 years ago
but it isnt three years ago
so yeah whatever

i see dad , then its like wow
alright alright
i see sister , then its like omgee
okay okay
i see mum, n just look away
im sorry im sorry

but yeah
WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY
whatever makes me angry
whatever makes us shake
is everything you planned

fucking jibberish
i made a new best friend
his name is failure
always there to keep me updated with reality
fuck i hate that word
reality
whatevr
ive blogged enough goodnight
dont forget the questions we ask at night

YOU FUCKING SLUT

is blogging over yet ?

im so frgn bored

im kinda cbf party

but then hmmm

what else i got to do ?

i just hope someone out me on the guest list

or ima have to pop a cap up

someones mothers arsemole

whatever

anyways

byefor now niggareng

duhuhhuhu

whatever makes me happy

where do i go from here
dont just tell me
take me there
anywhere but here
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
welll im over my sorry phase
sorry jackson
but thats where ill stop
and begin my walk through thsi fucked up maze
called life
barely walknig though
id say crawling maybe
but not to your knees
more like away from them
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
infatuation kills
from the very begining
but ive been reckless
left with a heavy burden and a high price to pay
weak and broke
just fucking great
oh sorry please
hold ur chin up high and keep walking
dont let me disturb you
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
a pain in the arse
a bug in my skin
a chain around my neck
but it keeps me warm
and wanted, just dont pull to hard
or ill snap , hopefully. oneday
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
dw a rage blog is coming
but for now
ill just work on it
dont wanna regret too many words now do we
but yes i am stupid
fly now crash later
but i cant say i fully stand by teh words that come out of my mouth
i mean half of it is just to make you feel better
white lies and alibis
all we need
need, need, need
wants and needs
love and lust
revenge and hate
whatever the reason , the purpose
. . . what the fuck am i on about
would it make sense if i said we'll always want abitta both? no
open up and youll leave yourself vulnerable
ANOTHER one of the
lessons ill never learn
but why would i needa open up when
i already wear my heart on my sleeve
FOR THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD TO SEE
i cant wait til the day my heart bursts
ill scream everything ive always wanted to say
break the noses that turned away from me
bleed all the tears that never came out
and sleep until my dreams run dry
dw im not crazy
yet . until then goodnight and sorry to waste your time
and yeah im sorry i wasted mine
. . . . . .
FUCK. YOU KNOW WHAT
i fucking HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Lets all play Pavis like a game, wanna Join ?

unresponsive

. . .

hahahah GRR ahahaGRRR sighh GRR

i dunno what to feel

what to think

how to RESPONDDDDEDEDED

yeah i am

i wont deny it

though i will work on it

feels like the only emotion i can show these days is anger

hateful i am

and i actually dont mind

but i know you do

but i wont change

not just for anyone

bipolar ??

hmmm maybe not yet

but yeha maybe

and btw victor this isnt fkn english class

so dont comment like a professor

LOL REMEMBER PROFESSOR GAY LOLOLOL

on my list : drink until i have to get my stomache pumped

but no i dont plan on doing that at jacksons

that would be selfish

. itscold boxers undies and a tee

but ill be fine

i hope

. . . fuck. hope, the one thing we can always have

soemething that can never be taken away

but sometimes i wish i didnt

then id never be disappointed or broken down

piece by piece, bit by bit

i needa post a poem

no dont expect it to be good, just expect it to be by me

- - - - - - - -

we all make mistakes

some worse than others

we forgive and forget

but we all know

forgive just means lets talk

and forget means its unmentionable

we all have secrets

some darker than others

but we all know secrets arent meant to be kept

but is all encoding and decoding anyways

secrets are chains

burdens actually

alcohol may loosen it up

but tighten in the morning

but whatever

i dont even make sense anymore

but its okay

as long as i have you here by my side

oh wait . . . .

oops

goodnight

facts, hopes and fails

"when im around you im predictable"

fuck so contagious is so good sigh sigh

just thinking of chris' new blog title and liek fuck

i hate that thought, when its over and its too late and it hits you

like a fucking stab to the noggin

the words that would save the day

and make everything okay

or maybe im thiking of something else?

yeah probably

i side track quite alot and im so fucking shit at front counter

but no i will not sidetrack

not now anyways

but yeh im slow and shit with arguements

unless i know what im talking bout and im not in CBF mode

ANYfuckingWAYS

fuck i dunno if i can take it anymore

i feel like im gunna explode

but i really just want to breakdown

but i dont i just go to sleep

4 hours later, after the thoughts have worn me out

but im scared the things i want to say might not come out as i want them too

what if i fuck up , what if bad gets to worse , what if

WHAT FUCKING IFF

there i go again

a question i dont want to know the answer to

but ill ask it anyways just to find a way to make me depressed

and draw attention to myself

but you know what

i dunno

i never did never will

if you want me to stay - neyo

yeah you leave me tongue tied and stuttering

and i can see it in your eyes

your enjoying my pain

but i enjoy making you happy

so i dont mind , no sacrifice no victory

. . noregrets.nolife.nofriends.nohope.noproblem

sif no problem you fucking dumbfuck

i got hw to do and my mum is nagging and my eyes are closing

and these thoughts that want to torture me some more

torture

torment

and scars

i wonder

sooner or later

ill see yall on satday

goodnight for now

sorry im a snob

today, tomorrow, or never

i cant wait to hate you

- the dream

my dreams

sighhhhh dighh

hopes up for friday

but doubting it

hmmmm i hope i have a good day on wednesday

=] . . . . yeahhh

a lil . . . i dunno worried

bout satday

liek :s

what could possibly go wrong ? right ? RIGHT !!

i hope i have fun

yeah thats how i think , EYE ME MYSELF

im such a snob like, fuck

you know those days when theres only one thing on your mind

and that one thought ruins your whole day

and its just a stupid thought but its an itch you cant scratch out

like FUCK . leave me alone

no wait no im sorry stay just a a lil while longer please

lets just lay down and watch as teh clouds cover teh stars

fuck. did you know.

did you fucking know. no fuck actually why the fuck am i blogging i got loads of hw yeah ill finish this one up another day bye for now

fucking IT, Mult media,eng,maths, fuck busman

dont want to wake up

well i "accidently" slept in . til 3 30 pm

first time i woke up i pressed teh snooze

second time, another snooze

third time i realised i was 5 mins late

cbf rushing

so i turned offf the alarm

and i dont regret it

i had a really good dream

i havent had one of those happy waking up dreams in a while so yeah

sighhhh

fuck that bitch

fuck this bitch

fuck em all

girls are like walking knives

they look all nice and shiny

but if you get too close they wil cut you open and spill your guts out

they were born to do it

iill stick to my butter knives thanks

yeha there i go again with my lady bitching

i shall fuck it . for now

ANYWAYS

my room is a mess

im a wreck and youre still ms ihaveeverythingiwantandneed

but yeha good on you

omgee

that pretty face

those skinny legs

that plump . . . . .

ima stop there before i jizz outta my mouth

harry potter this thurs . . . nyah kinda cbf

but the trailer looks FUCKING AWSOME

-----------

fuck i wish i was taller

GODAYUM

i needa sleep

i was kinda half cleanin today

and i found a bueno in a bag on the side of my bag i was like WOW

i forgot about you

left it on my table

and fucking my sis eats it

im like WTF THERE WAS 2 bars

shes liek yeah i gave it to my friend

FOR FUCK SAKES YOU FKN BITCH

its called fucking sharing

and she fkn leaves a mess on my hw

fuck

cbf multi media hw

holy fkn shit

i rest my head on the desk in front of me and

it felt liek my body was rocking im like

wthhh, okayy

spinnin out

confused

cold

tired

un motivated ?

short

alone

and pretty fucking annoyed

yeha ima sleep fuck it

til then bitches

EAT MAH SHIT YUO FUCKING ASSHOLE

is it raining or is it just me . again

i dont want to wake up anymore,

knowing that ill be thinking of you all day

but i have to. unless i had a toilet in my room

hmm

this was almost my title :

"for fuck sakes why cant it just go my way for once"

but then i thought no

fuk i had to dictionary wasting to check if it had an "e"

damn im fucking stupid

OH OH ohhhh shiiet

today confirmed :

and its . . . not as satisfying now that im typing it and thinking about what the FUCK I JUST REALISED

FUCKKKKKKKK

i hate my fucking slow proccessing

it always fucks me over fuck 10 hours later

fuck fuck fuckcufkczxhosdnpseuiobgv

godamnit this sucks

fuck the frgn ppl i asked for advice were all bloody wrong

and my hopes were built up to fall . AGAIN

and again and again

NOTE TO FUCKING SELF:

dont ask questions you dont want to know the answer to. ya fuckin

fuck did u know i never ever learn my lesson

i always LOVE to fuck myself over

and over and over again

i dont even know why i do it

and frgn i blog too much

i needa life

or maybe i should think positive

yeaaahh

FAT FUCKING TRUONG LE CHANCE

nah truongs alright

he doesnt even care when i bag him

i miss going to his house everyday

but yeha whatevrererereedrA

[ miserable at best ]

today i fucking played pokemon for a long ass time

and pigged out on pringles, gobstoppers,toblerone,

thins [light and tangy] and a chomp

frgn my stomache kinda hurts

but not that much so ill prob just shit it out later

ill be fine

well i was , or so i thought

gosh fucking damnit

spare me the memories

somewhere i belong

i wish i didnt care

fuck i blog too much

i needa get a life

or a gf

lol i sound lieka fucking loser lol

no not fucking lol ur a fucking mess

a wreck

a fucking what was it muck yet ?

i dunno lost duck or some shit

but yeah

ice skating :S

crew outing zzzzzz

working with kyle today was quite awsome

but yeha

OMFG every single woman has proved me wrong + kyle

fuck all i needed to hear was yeah its all in your head kid

(well nto those words but other words that would imply that to me)

but fuck now im back where i started

standing in the middle of a crossroad

alone , lost and cold

but ive learned to call this place home

i just remembered thsi saying

"home is where teh heart is"

i think ^o)

oh well

nothing matters anyways

and it hasnt for a while now

i think im getting used to this shitty ness

i havent complained for a while

maybe ive out bitched myself

goodthing though

fuck, whats pride anyways

what song was it ?

nah fuck it

not worth mentioning

not now anyways

one day when someone asks how im doing

i wanna be able to say im doing fucking good

my life has never been better

and i wake up not thinking about you

or him or them or her with him

or . . . fucking hell

my room is messy

i havent touched my homework

my bank account is drained

my bin is liek fucking bagless

my dirty clothes are everywhere

i got glasses from last week still in my room

fuck i needa get myself togetherrrrr

clean my room

shave

and

do something about all thsi shit gonig on in my head

fuck

well ima go waste time on somethnig else

thsi blogg is so wasted

running circles in my head

i have super powers . but i cant use them when im sober

mmmmmm i like that

FUCK

fuck

fuck

sssssss

im so clueless

i dunno what to do

i mean ive thought of this moment so many fucking times

over and over and fucking over again in my head

but then hey lets not get too ahead of myself

but then fuck what if im not

what if im just being stupid if i ignore this

maybe its all in my head

maybe its on your mind tooo

FUCK

this is killing me

tearing me up inside

again

okay over statement

and maybe im gonig the wrong way about this

i think the blades have turned into butterflies

fuck i miss the butterflies

fluttering around in my stomache

but fuck i dunno

am i ready to be fucked over again

who the fuck do i turn to for advice now

even if time stopped for a thousand years

i think id still be contemplating,

questioning this dilema

fuck why now

of all times

actually its pretty good timing

but i feel its too early

too late

too little too late

i dont want to be the one with the weak end of this rope

i dunno if i cant take another beating

another stab to the . . . thing

sighsighsighsighsighsigh

women, sucha a confusing and ferocious race

oh fuck im stressing i dunno what to do

im jumping out of my skin

IS IT ALL JUST IN MY HEAD

fuck what do i fucking doo

thank goodness for alcohol

i think im gunna end it with its all in my head

even though itll always be on my mind

until she gives up on me

but yeah

fuck if she gives up on me that would mean she was trying

fuck

im so fucking lost

fuck now im just blabbing

ima try sleep this off

bye

give me strength

desperation or despair

dear diary,
im feeling abit sick today and yesterday and the day before
but thats not gunna stop me
but i was thinknig
did i piss michelle off ??
hmmmmm
regret no wonder yes
lol i cant believe i said that though
and i cannot believe how no one noticed anything LOL
maybe im always like that
but whatever
this year is quite confusing for me
but mainly because of the opposite sex
alotta highs n lows
but no real satisfaction
wait i take that back
no HIGHs just mediums and lows
but yeah it doesnt bother me too much
. . . . . . . I LIED
but yeah my fault anyways
but im way past that
or so i liek to think
"So Contagious" BY Acceptance
was watching heartbreak kid
and im like shit i can so picture myself liek that in the future
but i dont want it to be liek that
ill dread my life if it is
actually i already do dread it
does that even make sense
damnit diary sometimes i feel like your teh only one that listens to me
or maybe your just the only one i tell things to ?
or maybe your thinking of someone else
bu tit doesnt matter
as long as you pretend to be here,
i can pretend your listening
one day i will have to burn you
its not coz i want to bu ti have to
goodnight and goodbye

crashing and burning

im soo fucking sick and tired of always having to blame myself
its fucking wasting my time, wasting my life and killing some pretty fucking good opportunities
ewww
i just sneezed
not one of those cute ones tho
COZ IM A FUCKING MONSTER BEAST
fuck anybody ever notice how fat sean kingston is ?
i like the song 1,2,3,4 by plain white ass T's
but back to my angry depression
farr
all the times ive fucked up
ima fucking gutless wonder
as senseless as a deaf and blind stooge
but whatever
ive been doing this for too long
ima fuck it
leave it behind . . .
wait aminute
that sounds quite familiar
i think ive said that before
but anyways
"put the dark side behind you,
that way the shadows will fall behind you"
- a book
sigh
one day ill fully forgive my self
for now this will do
fuck im a a hypocrite
but i make the mistakes so that you can learn from them
. . . . man i think im scared
fuck i think i needa buy a safe to keep my shit in
OMFG TRUST ISSUES
fucking contagious
well im pretty angry and fucked over
FUCK THERE I GO AGAIN
goodnight before i rage

another night, another dream wasted on you

i liek centreing my words

it looks ooher

fucking chris wotn tell wth went wrong

gosh damnit

WHATEVER

although im gettting a il paranoid of otehr situations

like hmmmm

and omfg

went work today bloody smashed and wrecked

i was having headspins n shit

while making burger im like wtff

i think my manager thinks im retarded

gosh

but omgee baddest idea ever

it wa sliek my body was movign before i could think and liek

everything was moving so fast

but then i felt liek i was gonig super fast too

but then i think it was just in my head

so yeah

im guessing i was shitter thamn usual today

i got a bitten deluxe cheese and regular cheese fron 3 hours ago

tastes like plastic

. . . . . i think i might eat it later

maybe

was feeling pretty funking stupid otday

just all these memories

bad helpful memories just stormed my head at once

and now i see things clearly

all this time i was blinded by my own stupidity

but yeha i think im gunna be a bit better than before

maybe possibly

but still , im lost and

i think i like it this way

or maybe im delusional again

OHMGEE SERIOUSLY

when i liek get out of it fuck its kinda scary i frgn liek hear people and voices its fucking freaky i was walking down the street teh other day and i could hear littel voices i look around and nobody wa sthert eim liek shittin gmyself and it was getitng darek too

fuck spelling mistakes cbf gonig back

i accidently got excited and tried to type faster than i actually can

so yeah

gnigth bye

PUT A SMILE ON YOUR DILE

WE'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE WHILE

GOOD BYE FOR TODAY

WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN

fucking dumbshits

barely hanging on

its 2:11 am

early saturday morning

im sitting here listening to Scars by Paparoach

sober and exhausted

now i feel stupid

but I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know,

right now you can't tell ,But stay awhile

and maybe then you'll see A different side of me

copied and pasted

then tattooed across my heart

no not the lyrics

not them anyways

seems like just yesterday

.

for hating you i blame myself

.

no its not a depression blog , no not even an elevating blog

its just me typing what im listening to

the sentences that stand out

the words that hit me like a brick

the times i will never forget

. . . . memories

sewed together but so broken up inside

ying roo ying mai kow jai

the more i know the more it confuses me

a song about love by BODYSLAM

a thai rock band

love it

.

i never should have .

fuck it

lets just make a snow list ,

well actually i already made it on my phone

but im just gunna copy n paste. . .

by retyping this Knigger

Things to bring:

• V can x 2
• snacks x heaps
• tissue
• mints [ morning breathe ]
• small towel
• moist cream
• deodorant
• water
• shorts
• spare socks
• maccas board games

hmm that list doesnt go well with this layouty thing

but ima leave coz i mentioned it and i cbf backspacigng this thing and that thing

fuck

im sorry

no imnot

FUCK YOU

fuck i hope i dont get mood swings

i mean i wouldnt notice

but i just hope i dont get them

goodnight

bye

and dont forget me

came home and realised someone stole me heart

fuck
ing hell
i needa soemthnig to do
i needa commit myself to soemthnig or someone
im fucking wasting away and is pissing me off
for fuck sakes
or i can just be that guy from day n nite - kid cudi
but yeah
im wayyy cool anyways
fucking
im so fucking confuckingfusded
but i think its okay
coz id rather be confused then know something i dont want to know
tryna decied etyna decide
if i really wannna go out tonight
. . . . . . . .
WITH NOTHNIG BUT YOUR T SHIRT ONNNN
fucking dirty slut
JUST KILL ME ALREADY
fucking slicing me up into pieces
one cube at a time just to
see the despair in my eyes
fuck im adictionary that shit niow
fucking despair liek wtf
. . . .
WTF I LOVE THIS WORD
omgeee despair
ima fuck on that shit'
. . . . . . sighhhhhhhhh
fuck i am so fucking angry
i dont even fucking know why
what you think ima fucking share this fucking shit woth you
you fucking goldigger
nigger
fuck
bury me a whole a nd fuck offff
omgee
head spins
gnight fucker
byeee

crawling back into my oyster

shutting off the world like fuck
ima fucking constant screw up
it like someones following me
making sure i fuck up harder and harder
or maybe its just my conscience
making sure i dont get to ahead of myself
well i know im a fucking wreck
YOU DONT HAVE TO FUCKING REMIND ME
gosh fucking damnit
wtf do you want from me ?
what do i haev anywyas
fuck you backspace
fuck you info hw
fuck you chemistry
fuck every fucking thing
fuck thank gosh its the mother fucking holidays soon
i need this
actually no i dont im just a fucking sook
fucken
whatevr
just go fuck yourself (over)

. . . .
G give me strength
and money
fuck i dunno about snow anymore
:S
fucken
i can see clearly now that the rain is here

left me weak and broken

welll satday was fun
friday was disappointingly SHIT
funny how bobbie necked joyce thoguh LOL
she like dragged her right across teh floor fkn crazy woman
never mess with that woMAN
felt kinda depressing being th only guy who didnt hook up on sat day
well i think i was the only guy ??
bu tfinding out about jenina was liek wow
AND I FUCKING THOUGHT SHE WAS AVOIDING ME DAMNNNN FUCK
walk home was funny
hardish trynig to control stefans angry drunk mood
but i managed '
AFTER FKN FAT TRUONG WHALE LE DITCHED US
fkn got ride form gina fkn dog kunt
oh well i dont blame him
we were beating him anyways lol
and we broke a fence lol accidnet thoguh swear
and fkn stefan swearing at random people
im like omgee i hope the alki doesnt slow me down
and my pants kept slipping
and omgee LOL
me n stef rollnig around in fkn salvo clothes we found in front of st vinnies lOL
funny asss
good night thatt one
well some of it
and omgee frgn sunday came along with his friend hangover
killed me working at maccas
i felt liek so light headed and liek sometimes everythnig is moving super fast
then liek id be freezing time
but yeah i think i managed well
monday woke up late
went to school at recess
sneaked through the back
felt liek a siknt
and then yeah
finished off 7C done 7D
cleaned my room
IMA FUCKING LEGEND
party my house these holidays ?
hmmmm thinknig hard
very hard

My list of things to buy when im rich :

• skate board
• hoodie (grey or white or maybe red :S)
• new jacket
• beez neez ( beer with honey in it hmmm )
• flask
• EAR PHONE OMG need em so bad( only one ear works on mine frgn)
• new SHOES
• and save up for a car

yehahh
im tired
almost sleepy
but yess
ima start taking more photos and vids
good times ( great classic hits)

omfg the girls i choose
im so stoopid
maybe i have bad taste
or im blind
or both
or i find out about the bf a year later
frgn lisa
frgn NO ! CONTROL YOURSELF
okay sorry man my bad
gnight single ladies

shattered

fuck satday
was. WAS gunna go kyles and fly to teh sky
but then shit happens
and shit gets shitter
so yeah
- - - - - -
alcohol,
happiness in a bottle
happiness you can buy.
nah not realy actually i dont get THAT happy when i drink
id say it depends on your environment
yeah
omgeee
teh question i will never ask ever agin
"does she have a boyfriend ?"
fucking everysingle frgn time
devastating
bu thten again
i should be used to didding my own grave
over
and over
and over
and over again
worked today
was abit out of it
but id say i did pretty okay
omg i looked os shit witht he rest of my crew im like
shti havent been here for a while
but yeah
well im bored outta my system
ima go for a walk soon
i lost the mood
goodnight
miserable at best BY mayday parade
enjoy

heart shaped box

fuck im lovin my kelly clarksons right now
her lyrics are pro ass bu tthe beats turn me of so
CANCEL DOWNLOAD
fuck teh fourth of july is too far away
cbf / cant wait til snow
i got a feeling its gunna be traumatic
but where is your heart ?
man damn wish i was taller
its startin to piss me off now but yeah . . .
youd think my heart was made of glass the way it shattered
FUCKING 17 / 30 for my fuckign eng sac piss me out
apparently i wasnt answering the question
and i spelled a lot as alot
but whatever
no NOT WHATEVER
a lot is liek (a)+(certain amount) but then alot is liek more that its liek extra
coz its together
you know what fuck it
coz im just a teenage dirtbag baby
oooo ooo ooo o o o oo o oo o oo oo o
fucking 95%
COULD HAVE BEEN ME
damn you linear equations
fkn needa work on that shit . . . . . no cbf
hmm end of the year
ima ace trigonometry
ace arithmetics ( just equations right) unless its rearrangeing itim screwed
ace bi variate . . . . i hoep fuck i cant compare for shit and then be all liek
teh spread is wide n shit fuck
and whats the otehr one ?
and wtf is sequnce series shit
ima ace you anyways
so dont you worry
info tmro first class
kinda nervous but then yeah
nothnig new
LOL viewing mysapce pics
i think i needa camera
i wann take more pics n vids
good times low times
fuck you 88%
fuck you 17 / 30
ima percent that wait
57% omfg . . . . gayyyyyyyyyy
12 30 my eyes RE TIRED BUT I AM NOT :s
well i lost the mood
good fkn buyy
yes i did spell it wrong
what chu gunna do ?
give m a fkn 17 / 30
fucking

wont go home without you

who we are and who we used to be

a big difference ?

for some

fucking piss me out

im so bored these days

no hw

nothnig

fkn sem 2

now

far outt

and fkn teachers

fuck ing killers

pretty damn fucking pissed

stefan got kicked out of school

coz he wags to much fkn dumb knt

bu tthen fkn gohh

i dunno

its not liek were that close anymore anyways

so yeah

well mm exam was okay i might have gotten 75 % i reckon

fkn html fucke dme over

im liek shitt

but yeha i reckon i did finee

and my panorama pwns anyways
kfkn WTF WAS I GUNAN DOOOO
fkn
shit ass blog goodnighters
not teh kool mood

i dont believe in bridges

well umm
i cant study its too hard to remember
fucken mai den
yeahhh
i just wanan drive thsi fist through a face
anyone
before i turn 18 please
mot chee wit chun hai tur
tae wun nee hua jai tur hai kaow
fuck i love that song
lemme translate for you
"my life i give to you
but today you gave your heart to him/them"
and best part is its a guy and girl
teh guy is from a rock band
and in the background is violin
mmmmmmmmm
lovin my thai songs
i wish we had a thai in our school preferably a girl
even better if she was hot
and wed iek sing thai songs together and speak a language no one else can understand
sighhhh
- - - - - - - -
so many questions i wanan ask
so many answers i dont want to hear
- - - - - - - -
you were the answer to my prayers
tehn became a burden to my life
( still cant make it soundn better
it doesnt have that sense of sweetness)
or emotion
i needa work on that one

so many mistakes
so many regrets
omfg
its killnig me
eating me up inside
AND OUT
worst part is that they were recurring mistakes
i never learn my lesson
im so slow
almost retarded
is quite pathetic
but then we all have out flaws
some are just worse than others
i kinda wanna go church again
but then knowing i will have to smile and pretend i wanna socialize
will look quite bad if im being watched as i roll my eyes every 2 seconds
tehn theres the touching
and hugging strangers and shaking hands of strangers
so cbf i just wanan sit there and listen to other ppls struggles
and how i can live better
or somethnig liek that
omgeee
fuck my eyesa re hurting goodnight

before i become an "everybody else"

well howd i do in my exams ayy ??
Chem fuckded me over
Busman was alright im not sure if it was easy or i think i knew
Maths i think i aced it but ive been wrong before
Eng was easier than i thoguht like dayum
muklti media i will failk
cos i have shit memo
buh yeah
today was a bludge ass day
actually bludge ass week but
yeah im not gunan complain
omgeeeee
i have all bludge subjects fuck
im wasting my time at senior
omgeee
i hope i get into rmit
pray to god
i dnt care what i do i just wanan get in RMIT
please
Supernova - Mr hudson ft kanye WEST
---------------
well i just had some friends over frgn had to lag my blogging time
anbd now i lost the mood so ima finish this on eoff
-------
if ya need a tissue
i got a shoulder
if you need time
i can wait
if you cant then
then ill try not to
but i will
and you wont

well here i am
there you are

and thats all that counts
init ?

lol watching old videos feels pretty damn good
ima make more
and more
and more
even though . . . . .
fuck it goodnight

lead me to the light

is the glass half empty or half full
id say its broken and stained with old memories
but id still drink out of it
dont feel like dehydrating today
but yeah
whatever you feel like.
whenever you feel like
ive got all teh time in the world
and its yours
if you want it to be
or ill just pretend your saving the best til last
you
you this you that
i hate you i love you i miss you
who are you ?
who am i
who are we ?
what are we doing ?
what are you doing
what arent i doing ?
WTF AM I DOING !!
omfg i just noticed all thsi shit i typed
im like dayum you sound lieka fkn dickhead
so dnt mind me
ohp
i dont want to bottle it up
i dont know how to let it out
im wasting away
and its pissing me off
do i want to make a change ?
no i dnt want to force it
crashing crushing secretly
discretely
continuously
categorically
numerically
spread your wings
fly away never look back
wait no im sorry i didnt mean it
fuck its too late
DID YOU KNOW ??
ive been told i was or AM a shit bf ??
but by someone else tho
im like oh yeahh
makes sense
"oops"
then im liek to myself
what am i to do ?
change ?
no fk that
adapt
change teh rules
change the game

wtf i sound likea fkn dickhead lol
okay mr pimp lol
okay okay ill stop im sorry goodnight
have a good one

back in teh days ( myspace bulletin )

from my myspace to here =]

when missing you didnt feel so wrong

when we didnt need alcohol to have a party

when i had a secret crush on you

when truong would just take it and not complain

when the only worry was to look good

when i could rely on you when i needed a hand

when a good day out was kickin back at maccas allday

when the word love didnt mean hooking up and then getting over

when girls got teh respect they "deserved"

when being a friend meant being there

----------------------------------

before everyone changed

before the keyboard became a limb

before back stabbing became a regular chat session

before smoking was the it thing

before looking like a junkie was kool

before riding a bike was embarrasing

before hoes came before bros

before popularity was first priority

before pothead became an occupation

before depression was familiar feeling

before cops became pigs

back in the days when all that mattered was trying to get you to like me as much as i liked youLIKED

telling myself no but my heart is screaming yes

well i think i aced the eng exam IF mrs somerville marks my work
but if someone else does im screwed
chem i fucked up so hard i dnt wanan talk about it
fuck i dunno
im driving my self insane
no not the song
no im not in love with my best friend
like no thnx
but fuck
im spinning out
and i need hold on to something
but then ur all like
ew dont touch me as you watch me fall on my ass
i dont wan tto be here
id rather be dreaming
and school is such a killer
fucking everywhere i look
i see nothing
noone
i dont belong here
bu then again where else ?
----------------------------
do you trust him with your life ?
is he everythnig u ever wanted
fuck whatever
fuck mang
you should have seen the concept map i made of the people at school
and like its actuakllly quite interesting
but ive only got half a picture
if i knew everythnig
then mayeb it could be finished
but yeah
prob not
fuck another weekend with nothnig to do
=[
but oh wells
more time to study i guess . . . . .
omgeee thats so depressing to say
but anyways
fuck it
far out i need new earphone
only one owrks on my current ones
fuck i wanan work liek crazy now
i wanan feed myself with money
hmm do my book tmro ?
nyahh
i needa study for bus man
=[
but how
julies got my bopok
googlke
oh shit good idea
thnx
no probs
fuck i needa shit
gnight byeybyeyybeybe
LATERZZZZZZZ

shit blog sorray

OI DICKFACE

Dear Pavis ,
ive realised youve beeen a real douche
so tell us wtf is ur problem ??
fuck you lazy fat piece of shit
get eh fuck off your ass and study
or fucking cleamn your room
and no i dont mean hide everything under your bed
FUCKING CLEAN TI PROPERLY
fkn exams this week and u havent even picked upa bloody book
do u want to fucking fail ??
fuck am i wasting my time spending my time in this empty room called YOUR FUCKING BRAIN ??
fuck you needa get a move on mate
and wth is this
u dnt read ur books you dont do your revision and you dnt clean your room
and here you are fucking blogging
are you nuts !!
yeah maybe
wait dont answer that
fuck STOP PYELLING AT ME
who the fuck ar eyou talknig to
me or him
him
oh okay
anywyas
-------
well im fucked
had 8 - 12 today
was supposed to wake up at 6 today and catch the 7 02 train
but instead i woke up at liek 6 40
and took teh 7 22
so yeah
i need some new rock songs
sighhhhhhhh
well my abs are still hurting liek crazy
and teh coughing has gotten alot better
surprisingly
how cool
mentally stable
pphysically cosi cosi
emotionally cant complain
what else is there ??
anyways
well im oretty pissed out
laterz
i mean l8rz
jsyk
when are they gunna start using that one ?
well im pretty sick of thishit
FUCK YOU

Nothing feels right

somethings missing this year
maybe its teh changes
or something
but its extra shit this year
i had a pretty shitty day
i dunno what it is or what happened
but it just knocked me off
i doubt that its just coz my "close friend" forgot my bday
actually yeah we arent close anymore
mayeb its a forced thing
liek i dunno ho wot explain it
but yeha
something is missing and i cant quite figure it out
( make any sense ?? cant quite ??)
omg how wierd
i almost sneezed just then bu then instead i shiverdd
went hp today
gto a jacket n jeans
i couldnt even see my jacket vefroe i bought it
soem white KNT was hogging th mirror
fkn ass
but yeha im alright with the purchase bu tnow im thinknig of the jacket from mossimo
damnit
but im let that go
fuck why didnt i go into that store
far outttttt
anyways
FUCK
im donig fkn 2 computer classes and fkn i dnt wnanan do computers in the fucking future
i fucking scrwed up mu subjects
no wi fucking scrweewdd
piece of fucking shit
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
osh fucking damnit
yeah this is a bad time
a confusfojksdiadghkln
]FUCK
IM
sigh
ima blog another time
goodfucking night

tum mai yung ruk dtae tur ( yah bork carw )

far out
so bored
so many things to do
so much time to do
put it off ?? or get it over and done ??
cbf both im just gunna pretend i stopped time
and wait for you to wait for me
fuck its getting harder and harder to loook myself in teh mirror
DONT CALL ME UGLY CHRIS
coz i dnt mean it in that way
gosh fucking damnit
all the fucking opportunities and chances
all the regrets and mistakes
are catching up to me
i cant run anymore
i cant go any further
all the things i prayed for
all the prayers that were answered
then ruined
all the nights staying up thinking of happiness
all the mornings wishing it wasnt a dream
every dream that had to end
every single moment that didnt count
its all come down to nothing
and nothnig is what ill keep with me fo ra long time
until . . . . . .
something
i dunno how to finich that line
or mayeb i just dont fuckin gwant to
FAR OUT LEAVE ME BE
pick me up off the ground
and keep your mouth shut
before the flash lights blind your _____
fuck you brian McKnight
fucked me over
thankyou
fuck cbf book tmro
but i must . move forward
and burn boxes
Mg P Ti B
i hate that word
i dnt even wanan type it !!
even though i have a million billiob trillion times
but yeha
kill me
goodnight
whats ps stand for ??
anyways BYE YOU FUCKING "FRIEND"
i fkn wish

ps. dont bother waking me up in the morning

when skies are grey

i needa lose myself to find myself
apparently
. . . . . . .
fkn
im looking at my hw
and thats a bout it
its so fucking hard
and liek i dunno even know what i have to do like
what hw i ahev left from what i ahevnt done
fuck
im fucking screwed
my luck finally ran out
fucking hell
im so emptyily hungry
i needa fil up . . .
or die
or soemthing fucking hell
balls have been annoying me all day
bu they arent itchy they are just like
. . . not in a good position alot
but no obne wants to hear about my balls
but yeah
fucking hell
just fuck me over on emor etime please let me feel
again
anything
something
or someone
or just fucking FUCKINGNGFIYJHDFZHSDJHNRTDe
anyfucking ways goodnight and goodbye
you fucking killers

7^3

fuck
fuck
what day is it ?
where am i
whats my name
actually
u know what
it doesnt even matter
nothing matters
but lets not talk about nothing
or what i have
oh wait
its teh same thing anyways
fuck you
cant wait o escape outta chem
fkn
but yeha
i cant say it was THAT BADD
but yeah it was still shit
fucken life is boring the shit out of me
or maybe im shtting the bore outta me ??
ew
anyways
lol maybe i should walk 15 meters away so that the toilet can flush
LOLOLOLO
jkz
kidding calm down lol
well now that chris's blue period is over , mine can start
oh shit its my BDAY soon ! . . . . wait cbf
fucken omgeeeee
fucking exams and revision is killing me
its liek gonig through a giant pile of clothes looking for what u wore last fucking term
far out FUCK YOU LINEAR EQUATIONS
came back fromt eh dead to haunt me again
hmmmm
fkn shattererererededererdrerdrer
no not just about the _____ thing
theres other shit too
fucking. . . . goohhhh
i needa piece my life back together
but its alot harder without the glue
and paint and broken pieces
its a fucking mosaic
far out
not what i planned
mayeb itll come out better ?? ^o)
but for now its a person short from being a masterpiece
fucking hell
FUCK YOU
TIEU
fucknugget
i needa stop feeling sorry for myself
and just fucken take my anger out on someone
and then out me out of my misery
by smiling abit more tehn
mayeb illl be like sand man and the pieces will just come back to me
pieces . . . .
i dont liek that word
you know what else i hate i hate the word ugly
but most of all i hate the word . . .
i wont even say it
ew
wait i mean the words
or mayeb its one word ^o)
hmmmmm
oh well
fuck it fuck you
fuck him fuck her
fuck em both and fuck everyone who looks at me
and sticks their nose up
fucken
. . . . .
for now goodnight
i hope you sleep better than i do
if i get any sleep at all
im sorry

i dont know

not that i ever did nor will i ever
fuck
whats with this idiot in the mirror
"i left a box of memories lying on the floor"
listening to soem song from ever more remix thing
fuck im so confused and lost and kinda unhappy
i dunno wtf im feeling or what im thinknig
and the night isnt helping either
i thought the walk would but it was too fkn freezing
to thnik of anything
i wanan just cut open a hole and leave this world behind then coem back a hundred years later
and then mayeb id realise what i had
then id go back in time and enjoy . . . whatever it is that i have
or had , or going to have
but yeah
bloody hell
put me out of my misery
MY love - JT.
mmmmmmm
who are your friends
who are your loved ones
who do you think abotu at night
who do you think of when you wake up
who do you dream about
who can make your day with just a smile
who who WHOO
only you
but no
there is no you
there is no me
just an empty shell
and with a crazy labyrinth inside
so lets not lose ourselves
"i need to start to be myself, cause im sick of everybody else"
by BOYS LIKe GIRLS
well i found out i missed a really good party a lil pissed but then i dnt want to be so i wont be
but yeah
shame
FUCKING SHAME
i needa good breakdown
thats all and ill be fine
fucking hell
i neeeda sleep this off fuckers
goodfucking night
save me from myself